Men and Women

Frustration in the marriage is one common trigger; the cheater may make several attempts to solve problems to no avail. Maybe they had second thoughts about getting married or they were jealous over the attention given to a new baby and neither partner had the skill set to communicate these feelings.

Perhaps the straying spouse has childhood baggage,neglect, abuse, or a parent who cheated that interferes with their ability to maintain a committed relationship. Less often, the cheater doesn't value monogamy, lacks empathy, or simply doesn't care about the consequences.

We will take a look at a number of risk factors and causes for cheating, but it's important to point out upfront that a partner doesn't cause their spouse to cheat. Whether it was a cry for help, an exit strategy, or a means to get revenge after being cheated on themselves, the cheater alone is responsible for cheating

There are many possible reasons to be why people cheat, but it’s important to know that no two people are the same and everyone their own unique motivations and experiences. That’s to say, people cheating is complex and multi-faced. While there is no single answer that applies to everyone, there are certain underlying factors that can lead to infidelity.

One most common reasons for men to cheat is a lack of emotional connection with their partner. When a man feels like he is not being heard or appreciated in the relationship, he seek out someone else who can provide the emotional connection he is missing.

Another common reason for men to cheat is a feeling of being trapped in a relationship. When a man feels like he has no control over his life, he may seek out someone else who can provide him the freedom he desires.

If men aren't sexually satisfied (for instance, if their spouse declines sex often), they take that rejection to heart, and it can easily translate to feeling "unloved." In fact, men are more likely than women to cheat due to a feeling of insecurity.

When women cheat, they're often trying to fill an emotional void.4 Women frequently complain of disconnection from a spouse, and of the wish to be desired and cherished. Women are more likely to feel unappreciated or ignored, and seek the emotional intimacy of an extramarital relationship.

An affair is more often a "transitional" partner for the woman as a way to end the relationship. She is seriously looking to leave her marriage and this other person helps her do just that. 

That's not to say that sexual satisfaction isn't a primary driver of affairs for wives as well as husbands. Similarly, boredom with the marital relationship may lead both men and women to cheat.

Finally, some men may cheat out of a sense of entitlement. This could be due to a feeling of superiority or a belief that they are entitled to what ever they want.

For women, the reasons may not be similar to that of men as, some women cheat because of a lack of fulfillment in their current relationship. This could be due in to a lack of communication, trust, or intimacy. Women may also feel like their partner is not meeting their needs or that their partner is not giving them the attention they deserve

Women tend to be more unhappy with the relationship they are in," Fisher says, "while men can be a lot happier in their primary relationship and also cheat. Women are more interested in supplementing their marriage or jumping ship than men are for men, it is a secondary strategy as opposed to an alternate."

Fisher has found that 34% of women who had affairs were happy or very happy in their marriage. 56% of men who had affairs were happy in their marriage.

Another possible reason women cheat is when they lack control on their current relationship. Women women may feel like their partner is controlling or their partner is not allowing them to make their decisions. This can lead to feelings resentment and the desire to take control of their own lives.

Finally, women may also cheat because of external pressure. This could be due to societal expectations or pressure from family and friends. Women may feel like they need to live up to certain standards or that they need to prove themselves in other to be accepted.

Ultimately, the reason People cheat are complex and varies. It is important to remember that is a choice and that it is not always the result of a person being “bad” or “wrong”.