Mediation is a big tonic for health.

How is meditation is big tonic for health?

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Tanvir Ali

Former Associate Professor,Numl University,Islamabad at NumlUniversity ,Islamabad (1980–2023)9h

"Peace is not the absence of conflict; it is the ability to handle conflicts by peaceful means." Ronald Regan

Every relationship has differences since we are all unique. The different values, worldview, interests, and priorities in relationships create potential sources of conflicts.

Conflicts are inevitable in any given relationship. There are minor everyday conflicts, which we refer to as blips. These minor conflicts can be easily resolved or even ignored and yet leave the relationship intact. There are other more serious conflicts, which may require dispute resolution mechanisms. These conflicts range from clashes to crises. By the time a conflict has become a crisis, serious intervention is required, including law suits.

Having said so, conflicts are not always necessarily negative. If they are handled the right way, they can bring positive and healthy outcomes to a given relationship. On the other hand, if conflict is not resolved, it can erupt into destructive outcomes, including broken relationships, violence, financial losses, and health challenges, inter alia.

Mental Map

Conflicts are usually caused by invisible “mental events” as explained by Prof. Daniel Dana in his book “Managing Differences” page 9. These events occur in our heads and are not noticeable to other people. These mental events will play in our minds and will determine how we react in any given situation. A “trigger” or anything that we perceive as a threat, will call for a different reaction to different people, and this is determined by our mental map. Such events can be thoughts, disturbing perceptions, and motives that assault us despite the best efforts at controlling ourselves.

As author Dyer Wayne says in his book "Erroneous Zones", we are responsible for how we react to the triggers that happen to us, and our reaction determines our behavior. We choose the wrong reflexes, which are ‘fight’ or ‘flight." Both of these reflexes determine the damage of conflict. In a fight or power play, we manipulate others in order to get our way. Alternatively, we walk away or remain indifferent in a conflict, and this is known as walking away (flight). Both reactions are wrong reflexes for resolving conflicts.

The better alternative

The better strategy to resolve conflicts in a constructive way is the essential process of mediation. It is imperative to appreciate that conflicts are not resolved by using common sense or a mechanistic method of logic and reasoning. The capacity for self repair is inherent to the organism. So conflicts are solved by enabling the organism to draw upon its own resources to resolve itself. If you let a child have some supervised freedom to explore, that child usually grows to be a healthy adult as opposed to those who are suffocated by their parents and guardians for fear of hurting themselves.

In short, conflicts have a cycle, and if given the right environment and allowed enough time, they will be resolved. In mediation, parties are given a chance to have face-to-face talking about a problem without interruption long enough to find a solution. This is what is referred to as the essential process of mediation. Ultimately, the parties navigate from intense conflict where they see the conflict as me against you to a paradigm shift after a robust conversation to come to a realization of us against the problem. Then a breakthrough is achieved and conflict is resolved. The disputants come out with a win- win solution.

Mediation tool

Mediation as a tool to resolve conflicts is superior to adversarial systems of litigation and arbitration, to name a few. In all these other methods, a third party decides your conflict, and almost always one party is left injured. These give a win-loss solution.

In mediation, parties come out with their own solution. They come out with a both-win solution or a win-win solution. It is the best method to resolve conflicts in individual relationships, workplaces, communities, and so on.

Mediation in Kenya's Constitution

In the 2010 Constitution and in particular in Article 159(2) of the Constitution, it is provided that alternative forms of dispute resolution, including arbitration, mediation, and traditional methods, will be promoted.

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The Kenyan judiciary has since then provided for mediation as a process of providing justice under the Civil Procedure Act. Courts now refer cases to trained mediators to handle them. If the parties reach an agreement with the assistance of a mediator, the same is adopted by the court as a "judgment" of the court and is implemented accordingly.

In Kenya, mediation has helped to clear the heavy backlog of old unresolved cases in court, and indeed, the Judiciary is promoting mediation as a preferred process of handling cases.

Conclusion

Even if mediation is more of a new process for resolving conflicts in Kenya, it will be the way to go in the future. It is very cost effective and saves on time. I personally have helped to resolve cases that have been stuck in court for years in a record ninety (90) minutes. Mediation helps parties in a dispute to retain relationships, maintain their dignity, and ensure privacy and confidentiality. Businesses are saved money, waste of time, and human labor through mediation.