Master This Skill Now and Never Feel Lost in a Meeting Again

I have.

I’ve changed my career three times. I couldn’t catch up fast enough with the new jargon that came with each transition. Stakeholders from different departments have their own jargon, making it harder to interact with them.

Master this skill and never feel lost again.

Paraphrasing is the secret weapon that can be used to understand anyone from any background. I’ve engaged over 100 stakeholders from different fields and cultures.

It works every time.

How I Became an Expert at Paraphrasing

I paraphrased out of necessity when I first came to the states as a poor international student. On the first day of college, I met a guy and had a nice conversation.

“See you later, Mo!” he said.

I thought, “Ok, but he forgot to tell me when and where we’ll see each other again.”

I was that naïve.

Quickly I learned that I didn’t understand the cultural side of the language. It was difficult to make friends with the locals.

I wouldn’t allow anyone to end the conversation until I understood what they were saying. I’d bluntly ask what they really meant. In a way, I’ve always been a bit off socially.

People found it funny that I would ask the most fundamental questions.

I’d repeat what they said to gauge their reactions if I didn’t understand their answers. I started adding my own words to the mix as my English got better.

Through my blunt etiquette, I’ve made great friends. Now I’ve become skilled at adjusting my speech style to fit my audience.

Paraphrasing For Beginners

If you want to master anything, start copying successful examples.

If you want to understand your stakeholders, start repeating what they say.

There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Think about this. It’ll be more embarrassing when they find out you pretend to understand later.

When You Don’t Know Much About Your Stakeholder’s Field

Stakeholder Adam: “We need to understand how this Medicare ruling affects our PMPM and how we can anticipate the experience in the coming quarters.”

Now you repeat what he said.

Pro tips:

Don’t say, “I have a stupid question.”

Just repeat what they say right away if you have no clue. When people hear you repeat with confusion, they can’t help but explain again without prompting.

You: ”You’re saying we need to understand how Medicare affects our PMPM and how we can deal with it in the coming quarters?”

Stakeholder Adam: ”Right. We need to understand that impact.”

Start digging into the terms you don’t understand.

You:”What’s PMPM? And why does this Medicare ruling matter?”

Stakeholder Adam: “PMPM is per member per month. And the Medicare ruling prevents us from raising the premiums even if it costs more to take care of our members.”

Now repeat what he just told you and seek confirmation.

You: “Per member per month is like how many members you have in a month? And that new law stops us from pricing according to the market’s demand?”

Stakeholder Adam: “Right. Any further questions?”

Do this one more time to make sure you really get it.

You: “Let me see if we’re on the same page. We want to know how this new law affects our PMPM and see how we can adjust our premiums in the future.”

Stakeholder Adam: “Yes!”

Although you repeat 90% of his words, you’re still moving the conversation forward. The flow of the conversation stops when you ask if you can ask a stupid question.

Paraphrasing allows you to keep the conversation interactive and learn something. It makes it easier for your stakeholder to teach you without the awkward questioning.

A Visual Example of How Paraphrasing Works

There are people on both sides of the bridge. Paraphrasing has 3 levels.

The first level is to just wave back at the people on the other side of the bridge.

You repeat what they say.

The second level is to meet them in the middle of the bridge.

You add your own words into the mix.

The last level is to cross the bridge and visit them on the other side.

You use their words in the conversation.

Master paraphrasing!

It’ll take your career or any relationship to the next level! Your relationships with your stakeholders will improve dramatically.

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Here is level 2:

Level 3:

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