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How to win friends and influence people

Summary of the book “how to win friends and influence people”

By JeevithaPublished 3 years ago 3 min read
How to win friends and influence people
Photo by Anik Mandal on Unsplash

How to Win Friends and Influence People" is a self-help book written by Dale Carnegie and first published in 1936. The book provides practical advice on how to improve one's interpersonal skills and make a positive impact on the people around them. The author asserts that success in life is largely determined by one's ability to get along well with others, and the book provides a set of principles and techniques for building better relationships and increasing one's influence.

Some of the key ideas in the book include:

  1. Emphasizing the other person's interests: The author argues that people are more likely to be receptive to your ideas if you make them feel important and focus on their interests.
  2. Being a good listener: Carnegie emphasizes the importance of active listening, showing genuine interest in others, and avoiding interruptions.
  3. Avoiding arguments and criticism: The author advises against engaging in arguments or criticizing others, and instead suggests focusing on finding common ground and finding ways to make others feel appreciated.
  4. Giving sincere praise and appreciation: Carnegie argues that people respond well to sincere praise and appreciation, and that this can be a powerful tool for building relationships and influencing others.
  5. Avoiding negative emotions: The author advises against expressing negative emotions such as anger, jealousy, or envy, and instead suggests focusing on positive emotions like enthusiasm, joy, and optimism.

Some of my favourite quotes from the book are :

  1. "You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you."
  2. "Don't criticize, condemn or complain."
  3. "Actions speak louder than words."
  4. "If you want to gather honey, don't kick over the beehive."
  5. "The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it."
  6. "Talk to someone about themselves and they'll listen for hours."
  7. "Remember that a person's name is, to that person, the sweetest and most important sound in any language."
  8. "The only way to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it."
  9. "It isn't what you have or who you are or where you are or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about."
  10. "Success in dealing with people requires a sympathetic grasp of the other person's viewpoint."

One of the strengths of the book is its emphasis on the importance of empathy and understanding others. Carnegie argues that success in life is largely dependent on one's ability to connect with others, and he provides clear and concise advice on how to do this, from being an active listener and showing genuine interest in others, to avoiding criticism and arguments and focusing on finding common ground.

Another strength of the book is its focus on positivity and optimism. Carnegie emphasizes the importance of avoiding negative emotions and focusing on praise and appreciation, and his message is one of hope and positivity, making the book an inspiring and empowering read.

Overall, "How to Win Friends and Influence People" is a classic self-help book that continues to be popular and relevant today. It is a must-read for anyone looking to improve their interpersonal skills and build better relationships. Its practical advice and timeless principles continue to be relevant and useful today, making it an enduring classic in the self-help genre.Its practical advice and timeless principles have helped countless people improve their interpersonal skills and achieve greater success in their personal and professional lives. The book is written in a straightforward and engaging style, and its message is one of hope and positivity, making it an inspiring and empowering read.

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Jeevitha

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