Growing up

Growing up as a girl child in Nigeria, is tough, we have to face different struggles and face the ups and mostly the downs, ranging from, the culture of silence, discrimination, economic deprivation, traditional misconceptions, abuse, gender inequality, violence, and conflict as well as social norms such as early marriage. Growing in Nigeria the girl child is faced with each of these struggles and more.

Girls carry a heavy burden of farm work and house work. Girls are married off at early ages, which interferes with their education or acquisition of skills needed for survival. At an early age we’re told how to act in order not to bring shame and disgrace to our families. We are grown each day with the words of how we are just made for baby making, keeping the house and pleasing our husbands, how we are not equally to the guys in our class but somehow stronger than most of them.

There are cultural norms about giving a girl child out for an early marriage, some of which includes; the paying off of a debt owed by the family, giving of a girl child for marriage when she’s sick as a baby, with the belief of her getting well after she’s married off , not caring if she would want to be in that marriage when she’s older. In most cases we are not given much of a choice, and then in other cases where we do have a choice, and even with those choices we fall into the wrong hands, where there’s no peace, no financial stability, and then it begins again, an endless cycle of struggles. I don’t know if this is how it is elsewhere but I can tell you this, growing up as a girl child in Nigeria, hmm it’s not easy.

Being a girl child in a Nigerian household is not easy. You’re groomed to always be on your best behaviours, there’s no room for mistakes or compromise. Daily Trust on Sunday spoke to a few women on what it means to be a girl child in a typical Nigerian household. (Sunday, November 7, 2021).

“The way I was trained as compared to my brothers was tough. I ran all the errands in the house while the boys were told to focus on school and sports. My brothers became so relaxed and used to me doing things for them that they couldn’t even do things for themselves.”

“Little chores like making sure the house was neat, beds laid, breakfast made or at least the ingredients needed to cook had been set, all fell on me. Now, I have grown brothers who can’t cater to house chores except they have someone around them,” (blessing November 7, 2021).

“I could be riding bicycles with my friends in the compound and my mum would scream that I should come down before I injure myself meanwhile my brothers would be doing same and she won’t say a word.” As girl children we face a lot of pressures on how to behave and when we’re grown we still continue to face more pressures; you bring home a man for marriage, you get questions, you haven’t brought home a man for marriage, you get even more questions. And so the struggle continues.

Growing up in Nigeria as a girl child has never been easy, most times we are left to fend for ourselves, other times some of us have no choice but to cope with the ever increasing hardship in the country by simply putting off education and looking for other means of survival. In some case at an early age we become the breadwinners of the family just because of the saying “It Is Easy For A Girl To Get Financial Favors Than Guys”.