Grammatically Speaking

What’s Happened To “Me?”

As an ex-English teacher, I am offended, more than most normal people, by the incorrect usage of words. I know that we don’t usually speak like we write, and that it’s OK to let words change with the times. Take the word “gay” for example: one cannot use this word in contemporary Western culture without directly or indirectly referring to something or someone homosexual; its contemporary meaning has replaced its traditional usage. Gay was once a nice, simple word with no political overtones but has forever changed. There is nothing wrong with that; our language evolves. From Shakespeare to Beat Poetry, to Rappers and beyond, artists depend on their creative use of language. But creative usage is not the same as bad grammar. The word “me” being replaced by “myself,” by virtually everyone today, is just wrong, and should not be ignored any longer.

“Myself” is a reflexive pronoun, and one can use it correctly in very limited situations: when one is doing something to, or saying something about, oneself. Recently, however, we have all started using the word “myself” every time we really mean “me.” I have a theory of how this possibly came about. I think that baby-boomers are to blame. Those of us born in the decade following WWII were referred to (first by author, Tom Wolfe, in the 70’s) as the “ME Generation.” This term stuck because it accurately characterized the unapologetic attention young people were paying to personal wants and needs, replacing any deference to traditional social responsibilities. Because of our social narcissism in the 70’s, the word “me” fell out of favor in the following decades, and baby-boomers, not wanting to be associated with the selfishness of their youth, subconsciously avoided referring to themselves as “me.” It was a slow, subtle change, but now it seems ubiquitous. The word “myself” just sounds less selfish than the word “me.”

Consequently, “myself,” however incorrectly used, replaces “me” everywhere. No one ever uses “me” anymore. Just listen for it, and whenever someone says the word “myself,” substitute the word “me” in your head, and you will start to notice this phenomena. In the family of “Me, Myself, and I,” “myself” is the middle child, acting out for attention. It is particularly annoying because no one seems to care; even news commentators and intellectuals, who are traditionally the stewards of correct speech, have been quietly coerced into using “myself” for “me” practically all the time. Speaking for myself (used correctly here), it is very aggravating. To me (again, correct) it seems like a lost cause, but I refuse to let myself (yes, still right) be changed. If it were up to me (alright, enough already), no one would.

They Don’t Know What He or She Is Saying

The pronoun, “they,” is probably the most commonly misused word in modern English vernacular. I think I know how it came about, too. Again, we can blame the baby-boomers. Following World War II, many women who felt compelled during wartime to enter the workplace, discovered that they liked it. Feminist ideals were slowly becoming more mainstream, and by the 1960’s, the National Organization of Women (NOW) was formed with the political goal (after being left out of the Civil Rights Act) of passing the Equal Right Amendment (ERA). People my age will remember how Feminists were almost always in the news, pushing for equal treatment under the law. Women wished to be included in discussions concerning equal rights, education, employment, and, well, any important topic outside the home. Consequently, the use of the pronoun “he”, in isolation, was seen by many to be politically incorrect. Essays and articles in print started using “he/she” and “him/her” when discussing a person in general. But this became problematic when speaking; we just don’t talk that way—too convoluted and awkward. So, for ease, not consciously mind you, but as a natural propensity for brevity, “they” emerged as a natural substitute. “They” is neither masculine nor feminine, and by its very definition, all inclusive.

The ERA was passed by Congress but was not ratified by the states, and languishes as an historical failure of the women’s movement of the 1970’s. Today, the “Me 2” movement has again raised the struggle of women back into the limelight. It is generally accepted that women should be treated equally under the law, but also commonly understood that they are not. Professional women are still torn between a career and the home, and quite commonly are stretched thin by obligations to both. It is, sadly, still a “man’s world,” but we are also still averse to using “he” as the general pronoun for someone. Consequently, in print as in speech, the word “they” is very often still misused. No one seems to care, except me and a few other compulsive grammarians. However, someone has to hold the line, and in academic writing, it is still not allowed to misuse “they” or “them” when referring to a singular antecedent.

Here is a simple portrayal of the problem:

“If a student wishes to do well in college, they should read more.”

Now this sounds fine, because that is how we would commonly state it when speaking, but it is not grammatically correct. It would be more correctly written:

“If a student wishes to do well in college, he or she should read more.”

Or better yet, avoid the problem by removing pronouns altogether:

“A student wishing to do well in college should read more.”

This is correctly phrased (and is also a true statement).

The other easy fix for this problem is to make the subject of the sentence plural; then, “they” is correct:

“Students wishing to do well in college should remember to write better than they speak.”

OK. That’s it, grammatically speaking.