Don't be a victim

Cinderella was a very beautiful girl, and besides the beauty of her face, she had a saintly manners! She endured the oppression of her sisters and her stepmother for years, until the witch finally came and rescued her from that miserable life to marry the prince and live happily, after she had endured being a victim for years, she is now overwhelmed with happiness.

And Remy, who was marketed to us as a homeless girl, lived the life of a street child for years, only to discover that she was the daughter of a rich family and had the life she had always wanted…a warm family and a lot of money.

As for Falla, Snow White, she was very beautiful, and she suffered from the horror of her wicked stepmother for years as well, but she endured this to meet the seven dwarves who protect her, and in the end she marries Prince Robert and lives happily.

Cinderella, Remy, and Snow White all lived the role of the victim, who endured a lot in her life, they endured everything that life circumstances imposed, what the orphan, the evil stepmother, and poverty… And because they endured a lot, they deserved in The end is a happy life, a life that forgets years of suffering.

This is the idea that has been injected into our veins since childhood, the idea of ​​"the victim's entitlement". I don't know if we were injected with this idea only through folk stories and cartoons, or if it was among the vaccinations that must be done at birth actually! Vaccinations against the rebellion of the conditions!

And now, after many years of believing that we deserve the best, and that there is a great opportunity waiting for us… that Aladdin's lamp is waiting for us somewhere to find it and wipe it, and the magical genie comes out to fulfill our wishes… What happened? Did we find the lamp? Did we get the desired opportunity? None of that happened. It is time for us to realize, then, that the problem resides here…in our minds…the idea of ​​"entitlement to the victim" grows in our minds, it feeds on movies and series and on fictional stories, and no one hesitates to provide its food, because they want it to live there until that time. Worms eat our skulls.

However, no despair with the attempt, we can uproot this idea from its manifold roots inside our brains… We must first differentiate between two things, between two phrases, and between two parties that constitute the heroes of every problem that we face in our daily lives… These two parties are: "The blame and 'responsible'. When you are late for one of your important appointments, you can blame the bus, transportation lines, and even the government and backward mentalities that do not give the slightest consideration to time, but you will still be responsible. Next time. When your father, who was the breadwinner of the family, dies during an operation, blame the doctors who are not performing their duty to the fullest, and blame the medical level in the Minister of Health … But what will you do next, how will you react? … It is all your responsibility, Either you stay there at the corner blaming the circumstances with a box of tissues next to you, or you get up to help your family get back on their feet again. There is always another option, and the presence of this ability to choose is what makes us responsible… Whatever the circumstances, you are responsible for your position on these circumstances, you are responsible when it comes to what you will do next? How will you face your problem?

People's belief that circumstances have the last word, that they cannot do anything, that their problem is so difficult that their hands and even their minds are tied and that they are helpless in front of it is what makes them wait for a solution from outside. And since there is no witch who turned poor Cinderella into a princess, nor Aladdin's lamp, on which a smear is enough for us to show the genie and solve our problem… Because there are no mythical beings in our reality, we are waiting for this solution from others. We expect others to make us happy, and to help us whenever we need them. And what you don't pay attention to…isn't "them" just another form of "we"? Don't they also have the right to raise their expectations for others who are "us"?

Do not expect from others what you cannot offer yourself, love yourself first, reconcile with yourself first, and before you expect from others…expect yourself first.