Dealing with anger issues

There is a quote which says,

“The more you know, the more you realize you don’t know anything”

which can be easily translated to mean that, even the things we are confident we have mastery of, when we come to get new information, we realize that everything we thought we knew about those things don’t even scratch the surface. There is just so much to learn and understand about the world to the extent which when we reach a certain threshold, we just give up on learning and double down on worshiping what we already know.

The human mind has been studied for centuries at this point, we’ve explored all there is to know about us humans and despite some areas still being a mystery, the human psyche has been pretty much understood. How we think, act and respond to stimuli is really nothing new, whether it's joy, pain, anger or any other emotion you can think of, we’ve figured out not just what causes it but also how we can control it. The main problem is that you won’t be willing to go through that intensive study by yourself, so I am going to give you the short version here.

The relationship between cause and effect

There is one thing you have to keep at the back of your mind at all times, that is for every action, there is going to be a reaction. So, the anger you are experiencing is just the reaction to a previous action. The fastest way to control your reaction is to control the actions which affect you.

I’ve really broken it down way too much, and I am skipping a lot of complexity here just for simplicity purposes. It seems we often operate on a retroactive basis, we neglect all the actions in our lives and only react to the results of those actions at the end. The best way to have a great control over your anger and your emotions as a whole is to control the things which might lead to those emotions.

This might mean for you to distance yourself from the wrong persons or take the right decisions. The things which might produce anger in you are pretty obvious, no one needs to tell you what they are, or who they are, but maybe you are feeling too lazy to even think about them.

There is a relationship between cause and effect, the most effective way for you to deal with your anger issues is to have total control over what causes it in the first place.

Acting on the effect

It's possible that you might not have full control over the causes of your anger. You might just be in a position where you can’t get rid of the causes of your anger, so let's talk about how to deal with the effects. Controlling your emotions is something you can do, it might seem difficult at the beginning or even impossible, but it's possible and that will require a deliberate effort from you. The average person doesn’t have the patience to learn how to control their anger issues until it has passed a breaking point, needless to even mention the damages anger issues have caused in many lives but for those who really want to, here are the tips.

The causes

Anger is just the result of bottled up negative emotions such as frustration, stress, pain etc. Anger in itself isn’t a spontaneous emotion, it doesn’t come out of thin air, it rather builds up with time till it explodes like a pressure cooker. The origins of your anger are found in another emotion you’ve been suppressing for quite a while, look deep down into yourself and try to figure it out, what negative emotion have you been suppressing for a long time? Once you deal with that negative emotion, you’ll get rid of your anger. Keep in mind, it might also be a combination of negative emotions and not just one.

Focusing on positivity

The reason anger thrives is that there is a deliberate focus on the negative, it's hard for anger to find any footing when everything is positive. I’ve never seen someone punch another person out of happiness, positive or negative, good or evil, those aren’t just ideas; they are realities we can clearly see in our lives every day. In which realm do you live most of your life? is it in the negative or is it in the positive? You can’t be a negative person who enjoys pushing negative emotions or bathing in them and expect not to have anger issues. Emotions are similar to an atmosphere, they build up a toxic air around you until you start choking on them, and it's only their opposite which can give you a breath of fresh air.

Your anger issues are a result of causes which you have no control over and a toxic environment you’ve built around yourself. The way to fix that is by infusing around you a fresh air of positivity and gaining control over the causes of your anger. Also, you have to get rid of the negative emotions in you which build up and which you are deliberately suppressing.

Conclusion

It's not something easy, I didn’t even talk about all the events in our lives which have left us scared, traumatized and play a big part in the negative emotions we already have. Every situation also has its unique constraints which make it much more complex, but the root causes are all similar. There are a limited amount of emotions which cause anger issues in us. Your anger issues aren’t as enigmatic as you might want to think; they are just harder to deal with because we tend to hang on irrationally to emotions at the detriment of logic itself.

If you took yourself out of the situation and with a little objectivity, you’ll realize how easy the solution is.

Thanks for reading ☺️