Breaking Generational Cycles: What Is It Like To Be The First College Graduate In Your Family?

Jordan Douglas Blair, my baby brother, I refer to him that ironically as he is 6’4” and I come in at just barely 5’3” succeeded in breaking a generational cycle. Something many dream of but few actually achieve.

Struggling To Speak

Jordan grew up suffering from more ear infections than we could tally. It affected the way he heard the spoken word. I think he inherited a tendency towards ear infections from our mother. She too suffered from them as a child, but nowhere near the extent that Jordan did.

Because Jordan had trouble hearing as a young child, it severely impacted his ability to speak clearly. In fact for many years, only we could really understand him.

Thanks to some amazing teachers and speech language pathologists at Perryville Elementary, Jordan received assistance and intervention to help him speak but the process took years.

Never underestimate the prolific power of what you are exposed to as a very young child. It can impact what occurs to you later on.

Speech/Hearing Problems Affected His Academic Progress

Jordan was always the athlete. Some said it was because of his size. Now as an adult, I have to wonder if it was because his body could do the talking. He was an amazing basketball and football player. We were so proud.

Mom even put a basketball hoop in the bathtub of all places so Jordan wouldn’t miss a beat practicing. He even forced me to practice free throws with him at every available opportunity. I was horrible.

Jordan has always been intelligent and very insightful. Jordan is great with people. Always has been and always will be. Jordan is also excellent in handling money. Jordan is an amazing father and partner to his family.

Jordan struggled academically from elementary through high school. He would never say this but I will. When it is hard for you to hear the spoken word, it is even harder to speak it. If it’s difficult to speak it, it is hard to learn and master reading and writing.

Caveat: Before anyone references the deaf community, we are well versed in sign language as the Kentucky School for the Deaf was in our hometown, it is a commonly accepted fact that those with hearing disabilities or delays have a harder time with reading and writing.

Jordan Barely Graduated High School

I will never forget the call from our mother. Jordan was most likely not going to pass senior English and therefore be ineligible to walk in graduation.

Thanks to a close family friend who worked as a guidance counselor, we were able to assist Jordan in barely getting the grade up. He graduated by the skin of his teeth amen.

Years later, Jordan would explain that some of the teachers had made him feel stupid or said he was lazy when in fact he was trying his hardest to overcome his deficiencies from all those years ago.

Learning this made me hurt for him. Jordan has never been stupid. Not ever.

Sports Motivated Him To Go To College

Image for post

Photo Courtesy of the Author, Jordan Blair official pictured third from left.

I don’t know if my brother had original intentions of college. He did however, love sports and wanted to pursue a career in sports.

He got a job coaching football and then began assisting at a home for adults with special needs as a caretaker.

But he wanted more.

Jordan due to his high school GPA and to be honest, I don’t even know if he took the ACT, had one option.

He enrolled in the local community college while working full time.

During this same time period, he found his calling. Officiating.

Jordan has an eye for detail and sees the world as black or white; never grey. Jordan understands the rules of sports on a level most couldn’t imagine possible.

I don’t know that Jordan chose officiating. I think officiating chose him.

Jordan Receives A Bachelor’s Degree While Working Multiple Jobs and Raising A Family

Jordan worked for years. Sometimes two and three jobs. By sometimes I mean almost always. Along the way he met his current life partner Felicia (who we dearly love) and became a father figure to her three children. Her children quickly became their children.

Maybe a year before Jordan completed his undergraduate work I recall hanging out with him for all of ten minutes. That was all he had to spare. He looked so tired. Dark circles under his eyes.

You could tell. He. Was. Exhausted.

Jordan was cradling his youngest child Olivia who we affectionately call Booty because he was the only person she wanted. Jordan had just finished working 12 hours and had exams to study for. He never complained. Not once.

The Call When I Was In Orlando

It was just after Thanksgiving when my phone rang. I was in Orlando working on a creative project. Jordan called. He was set to graduate with his bachelor’s degree. He was so proud. I was so proud. Our entire family was proud. But what was the most heartwarming thing about this milestone achievement? Other than he was the first?

Jordan Received His B.A. in Special Education

That’s right. The same man who as a boy struggled to read and speak became an educator for those with delays and disabilities. Jordan is excellent as a teacher because he truly understands the struggle.

You can’t lead someone through hell if you’ve never been there before.

Jordan knows what it is like to overcome a label or a diagnosis. Jordan knows what it is like to have to work three times as hard to get a passing grade. Just a few reasons why I believe he is an effective educator.

Jordan didn’t stop there.

Jordan just a few weeks ago, received his Masters of Arts in Education. He not only went on to get his Bachelor’s he now has a Master’s. My mother said he is considering pursuing his PhD. I hope he does and I know he will. Jordan doesn’t do anything half way. It’s either everything or nothing at all.

The First

Photo courtesy of the author, Jordan Blair pictured second from left while officiating KHSAA State Football Championships

Jordan is the first person in our immediate family to graduate college with a Bachelors degree. Jordan is the first to graduate college with a Masters degree.

All of the rest of us dropped out including me.

We all made excuses. Jordan never did.

Jordan worked 2–3 jobs while raising a family and paid cash for school. Completion took him longer than 4 years but he did it. And a degree has no expiration date.

More importantly, Jordan set the bar for his children. Because of him, they know what is possible. Because of him, I hope some of you who are struggling with work, kids, and school do too.

Epilogue: Jordan continues to officiate sports, work as a special educator in central Kentucky, and raise a beautiful family. Out of all the brothers on Earth. I think I got the best one. We are so proud of you Jordan and love you more than we tell you.