Word of the Day:遂げる

Since I had my break down, I am sort of being able to organize my TODOs a little more efficiently. I just like that I can get over disappointments more quickly than when I was younger. That's probably the only benefit of getting older.

I was going to have a guest over and I had several things I needed to do in order to even be able to facilitate that, and the TODOs for that were all over the place, now that I gotten sick and had to cancel, I have more time to organize it in a more logical way. I have one page for cleaning and one page for self care.

I have to do the cleaning first because some of the self care stuff needs me to have space and towels and certain clothes for me to accomplish them.

Before it was like: paint your nails, then empty the trash, then lotion legs, then clean the tub; it was a mess.

One page of straight cleaning then one page of self care makes much more sense.

I also am mentally free enough to use some of my scratch paper so, that is good too but I also need to review some of the pages I already used.

I also added some rules for myself to limit some of my.. mm... how do I put this, fixations? Like to prevent me from like indulging in something destructive for too long.

I am fully up to date with my Scheduler and my TODOs but, I still have yet to do my Budget Planner. I mean my TODOs has kind of a "mini budget planner " in it, but I need my actual planner to like, look in the past and see what I did and to project in the future some of my goals and such. TODOs only accounts for daily purchases. I still don't have the mental capacity/time to deal with that now, but I am also not burdened with having to do it right now either.

It is funny I got sick because, before that happened I bought a lot of sparkling water and juice so... It was almost like I prepared for what was eventually needed. Like I said, I am feeling a lot more mentally clear now that I had a bit of a cry about it.

I am also feeling better now that I took some medicine. I don't know if it is a placebo affect since the medicine needs like several doses before it "works" technically but, either way I feel better than I did, and that is all that matters.

I was sort of stupid and ate all the food my door dasher brought today. I could have had that stretch for 2 days at least but I guess since I am sick, I wanted to just sooth myself with food. It technically wasn't too much calorie-wise. But I have been in a calorie deficit for a while so, it was dumb on a health and economical level.

I will be in trouble at the end of the month as my food stamps are running low. Yea, I will be paid by the 24th so, technically I could use my money to buy food as I did before, but since I am not getting financial aid from school like before, I don't have the luxury of spending it like that again.

I most likely will have to go to a food pantry or something to get some like just basic things. I don't know where to go with that but I figure the ACT team people probably wouldn't mind taking me to one in town or something.