Word of the Day: おばさん

I don't really need to write anything but I think I want to just get used to sitting at the dining table again to work on homework. I need to work on the presentation tomorrow but I am trying to follow my todo list faithfully and it says that homework is up next.

I am listening to a tarot card reading and she mentioned automatic writing. I sometimes do that. I like to channel in that way since my dreams I see at night are no longer vivid as they once were.

It is already the next day and I am tired. Club just finished and I am writing in here to destress. This one Chinese American boy kept following me around. I think he might have a crush on me or maybe he is just wanting to talk to someone, I don't know. It is a bit annoying but at the same time I can't really be mean or something because it is part of my role to be inviting. I guess I am just tired all around. I am also thirsty but I don't want to buy a drink. Anyway, I have Reo, even if he isn't by my side, I don't have any intention of entertaining anyone else. Plus, the boy isn't my type at all. He is very shy and speaks so low you have to like lean in to even make out what he is saying. I think he has social anxiety so it is actually good of him to put himself out there to enter a club.

Either way this blog is my safe space. I can vent here, I can destress here, and after class I can get home and get in my pajamas then go to bed.

I think James was attempting to tease me about that guy but I was ignoring it. Oh well, at least I did everything that I needed to do. All that is left is class. I really wish I had weed. I can't even get it tomorrow because I made an appointment with Teresa. Oh well, at least I have an outfit already picked out. (I am just going to wear what I am wearing today.)

Just thinking about Reo possibly having cancer is.. freaking me out now. I mean, I want so much to meet him but, also selfishly I don't know if I could take losing him that way.

Club is kind of a waste of time for me but, what other choice do I have? I turned down that guy for a teaching gig and, whether I appreciate it now or not, it is better for me to actually talk to people. Actually it is all a waiting game until my expungement takes place.

Yea.. I guess that is really it. I mean, Reo is talking about finding a place to live in Japan... and he even talked about sending for me after he figures it out. I think that is moving a bit too fast but.. I mean I am already 35 and not really doing anything with my life.

He's figured out a lot more than me despite being younger, he travelled to many places... I don't know what he likes about me. I feel sort of suspicious to be honest but, I guess since I was with Kenta before, it somehow feels familiar being in a long distance relationship.

I guess I am also a little jealous that some people from my class are going to Japan. I guess I don't really have to worry since, if things work out with Reo, I would be living with him there.