I feel pretty calm talking to Reo, it makes me feel better but I find it ridiculous how many people I am shooting down for him. Drew, Jahon, and even some new guys are trying to get my attention. I am not bragging, I am just explaining the situation I find myself in.
I guess a long distance relationship feels safe for me, it feels familiar and it isn't too demanding for me so, I am content with it for now. We're just in the talking phase anyway so I am not worried about where it will lead. I am not sure if I even like him or if I am just wanting to feel good in the circumstances I am in.
I finally got Rouge in Sephora. It is pending right now but I am excited about that. I have been loyal to Sephora most of my life so I love that it is finally paying off to get access to now even better deals.
I probably seem pretty vain at this point but I am not, I rarely dress up lately and I have too much extra weight on me to be flaunting anything genuinely.
I don't know if I am ok in reality. I am doing weed behind my mom's back. Everything is fine right now and my plan is that I'll stop or won't have time to buy it once I get a job so I am not too worried about it at the moment, but for this moment, I am feeling sort of guilty.
I haven't wrote anything in a while and it shows. I just didn't feel like sitting/standing at my desk and admitting to myself what I was actually feeling or confront it more past the small paragraph in my daily planner.
I not 100% attracted to Reo but I like his voice and what I've seen of his body I am pretty into. Is it because he gained some weight? Mm... maybe it is that but generally speaking, Sherzod gained weight and I still found him very attractive. So... I don't know. Maybe it is simply I don't find his face as appealing.
That is sort of hard because I always said that I wanted someone with nice face and nice hands. So, thinking of compromising on that is sort of hard. Also, he is younger than me by 7 years. Perhaps it is that when I look at him I am just thinking, " Young " but I am leaning towards not being 100% attracted to him.
He kept asking me if I still wanted to talk to him and the answer is yes, but probably not for the same reasons as him. He could've been lying when he was like, " I see you as a love interest. I am interested in you " or something to that effect.
He has experience with older women apparently so, I guess the age different doesn't bother him but, I don't know if he's wanting a sugar mama or something, because I don't have money, hahaha~
Speaking Japanese with him is also sort of awkward because I am older I feel like I know some Japanese, but he is also younger so, he is more aware of...
A 28-year-old in 2025 would be considered a Millennial, as they were likely born between 1981 and 1996. According to 10News.com, Generation Z was born between 1997 and 2012, making them between 12 and 27 years old in 2025.
Oh, I guess we're in the same generation? But I am sure he was born 1997 so he's probably gen z. Anyway, the thing I am trying to say is that we probably have different vernacular for our everyday life.
About the Creator
Kayla McIntosh
Personal tell-all pieces: Word of the Day and Jail Journal. Secret poet on the side. ( I don't use Ai to write any posts, everything is done manually. )
Keep reading
More stories from Kayla McIntosh and writers in Confessions and other communities.
The Last Day of the Year
My New Year Countdown Clock indicates that I have just over five hours left before this year is over. I am stuck in the suburbs with my mother and stepfather, contemplating what I am going to eat and drink to celebrate this great change in our lives. The weather is cold, but I do not feel as though it has really affected my attitude about what the new year will bring...but I am not as happy with this moment as I usually feel.
By Kendall Defoe 17 days ago in Confessions
Comments (1)
This is a lot to unpack. You seem to be in a complex situation with Reo. The long-distance thing sounds okay for now, but the attraction issues are interesting. And getting Rouge in Sephora is exciting. But doing weed behind your mom's back is risky. You mention not being 100% into Reo's face. Have you thought about having an open conversation with him about how you feel? Also, how do you plan to stop the weed habit when you get a job?