Word of the Day: 五月

I am just writing right now because my energies have been all over the place lately, I am in a low period right now so I am trying to still be somewhat useful right now. I know that sex is off the table right now.

I enjoyed talking to Kamol, I was able to tell him about Jahon marrying Angela. I know he probably doesn't know, he probably doesn't talk to Jahon anymore... but he was the reason we met so, I feel like he's the only person I can talk to. I am sort of stupid, I think I only talk to him because he looks like my Mom's dad. He is also a Cancer as well so, I think it is like...

Papa, can you hear me?

Wow.. I forgot how good Barbara Streisand was at singing.

Anyway, I do still need to do the compiling but I am almost thinking of hiring out. I think Fiverr is good enough for this since, it wouldn't be extensive, but will need like 4 hours or something.

Also I sort of need someone I could trust to just look at the titles, and not read the documents really.

I know my Human tasks sort of require me to talk to my teachers but, I don't know what to say at this point in time. Maybe I can continue to write here until the words come up for either one?

No... deep in my heart I know I don't have anything to say to either of them. They are just doing their jobs and I need to find me..

12:12 on the clock right now. I am staring at my roses, almost blooming. It is crazy the color they are. Some sort of magenta.

I actually have a lot to do today to prepare for monday but, I am just taking a mental break fright. Oh geez. Ok I guess I want to channel but I am not really wanting to do it for too long.

Work. This is a school computer, I have accessed from my personal computer but I need to utilize my work computer to work.

I don't think I am saying too much, I think it is just what I am feeling and seeing, my truths and realities.

Ah, some of the petals are falling.

I slept a lot today. I am not sure it if it is entirely eating gummies or not being the reason for that, but my gut tells me it is actually the weather and, well personal problems making me lethargic right now.

I know I have been playing with fire lately and, most likely have either a STD or... even probably pregnant. I am making the appropriate appointments to handle these problems but, since I am doing it all alone, I will need some time to.. well grieve or, come to terms with everything.

I have a Little Ceasar's pizza right now and a 2 liter pepsi I am slowly digging into. I know it isn't healthy, and technically I don't really need to eat too much right now, but I guess part of me is wanting to take advantage of this time to sort of hibernate basically.

Sometimes I overdo my Human tasks and over-take care of my body. I know this is partially hormonal because, women are sort of geared towards wanting to take care of something, and the only thing I have to take care of at this point in time is plants and computers.

Tomorrow, Tami is coming over to review some things, hopefully she will be more prepared than she was before.