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Why am I so weak

Ten years after graduation, my college classmates held three reunions

By testPublished 3 years ago 3 min read

Ten years after graduation, my college classmates held three reunions, which I always deliberately ignored and then passed lightly. This time, the roommate specially sent the party arrangement in our small group, invited everyone to go together, I was fine, the time just in the holiday, but in the bottom of my heart, I was so resistant, without a trace of enthusiasm. Little sister recommended group chat to me, and I pretended not to see it. In the end, I really forgot about the reunion. After the party, the little sister asked me: "Why didn't you go to the reunion?" I replied, "I was in the same place a few days ago when the baby came back unwell!" I didn't make excuses. It was because the baby wasn't feeling well that we came back, but I knew in my heart that even if I was still there, I wouldn't be there. My husband's cousin is staying at our house with her child for the tryout exam in the city. Once contact is not much, I do not think she is good or bad, and now contact a few days, I think she is talkative, in the heart of her instant no enthusiasm. It wasn't until the children had finished their exams and were leaving that I felt I was being too cold a host, so I relented a bit and invited them to visit next time. But it was obvious to me how insincere these words were. The biggest fear between people is that the more I get to know you the more I want to get away from you. I know that all kinds of people in my life have their own reasons and values, but I can't help but be so eager to be disappointed when I get to know them better. I like to deal with strangers, in front of strangers, I am also a stranger, a person they completely do not know, I can laugh freely can walk freely, and do not care about what they will think, because after today, we will not even see each other again. Why don't I want to go to a reunion? Actually, I went to a high school reunion once. That party filled me with disappointment at such events. We chipped in, first to eat in restaurants, then to sing and drink. There was no communication between them, and everyone was still strange after the party. Even when we met on the road, we just looked at each other and hardly said hello. The husband attends a party to come back equally dissatisfied, party field, is not bask in a car is bask in a room, is not bask in a wife is bask in a child, in that way the lively of the surface really can let a person feel more lonely. I like to spend a whole day talking and then eating and drinking with two or three like-minded friends, but I don't want to spend time with people we're nominally close to because we still don't have anything to do with each other afterwards. Why do I lack enthusiasm? In fact, IT is lack of care. Some people who used to be complete strangers become relatives because of various ties of blood. We did not understand, and now it is difficult to understand, we will objectively analyze such and such reasons, but it is difficult to do empathy. Everyone has everyone's style of doing things like bad ideas, so when you come into contact with a person you are not so fond of, encounter a thing you are not so concerned about, nature is much colder. Why am I indifferent to emotion? Maybe I'm not interested in spending time doing meaningless things, or I don't want to pretend to be passionate against my will. Some meet hug hate can not rub each other into his heart, after breaking up is a face of disgust, really, I can not do.

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