When Violence Brings Consequence.

A Common Story

It's not often a new story. You arrive at a new school, and at some point you become the target of verbal ridicule, social exclusion, or sometimes the physical prodding of a bully. This is commonplace, and almost universal in every environment. Whether or not you become an adult, everybody has to deal with a bully in their lives, or an individual who wants to belittle you for their own feeling of satisfaction and to remove their insecurities.

It's an almost universal truth I have come to accept. No matter where you move or where you go, there is going to be somebody who will try to make you feel small. And oftentimes during my young years...and sometimes even after becoming 22 years old.

I still get flashes of anger. Irrational flashes of anger, that never get physically expressed whenever I witness a form of bullying or belittlement that goes unpunished. It's very small, but potent and burning when it arrives. Why? Because oftentimes I get the feeling of wanting to violently assault the bullies of when I was a young boy. Slam my fist into their faces, make them cry, and perhaps even mock them for it. As if they were the only ones who needed to suffer.

However, the more I grow and learn to control said anger, the more I realize that indulging in said anger or actively acting them out is going to negatively impact me for the longest time instead. If I had beat up my bullies and made them cry, mocking them as well...then what would that make me? Someone who brought justice? Or just perpetuating the same hate and belittlement, only from a different perspective?

Looking back at it now, I learned that violence becomes cathartic when you feel unjustifiably wronged...however the after-effects lead to even more problems.

It all starts from within, and is exacerbated from the outside.

Internal Conflicts

From the inside, I realized that I usually am left with feelings of self-shame over my lack of control, or rather the violent thoughts that lack the foresight of how that victim's families might feel. On top of that, you also have to dal with the internal frustration of having to realize that doing such a short-sighted action could be much worse and comparably catastrophic. Which then leads to the feeling of helplessness at times, where you realize you can't violently act out without facing consequences.

External Consequences

The external factors become more varied and dependent. Such as the disappointment or shock of your parents, the fear you get from your classmates and the people who sympathized with you. And surprisingly enough, even worse? The fact that if you succeed in making the bully fear you and avoid you? You simply reversed the positions of who's the tormentor and the tormented.

Nobody learned anything, and you end up becoming the very person you wanted to avoid. So then what to do about it?

The Truth

Truth be told, violence in the face of mockery is shortsighted. I learned that once, and quite frankly it used to leave me in shame. Nowadays, I am as patient as one could be, even with the flashes of anger. Because anybody can learn some patience and humility regardless of the anger you have. It's saddening if one ends up falling into that anger, and I learned it the hard way growing up. Thankfully, violence did not end up becoming my answer. Patience and forgiveness became my answer.

So for everybody reading, and for those who get flashes of anger at injustices or even the mockery...patience is truly a unique virtue.