When Lines Get Blurred

Have you ever had one of those friendships? Everything seems easy and you would trust the person with you life. They know every side of you and you know every side of them. And then...

Your feelings start to change. Maybe they were always like this. Maybe it happened in that moment. Ultimately, you have realized that, as much as you love them as a friend, there is a side of you that desires to step over that line. That line that separated the platonic from the romantic. The line that is able to keep you in parallel paths to each other as far as you can see in the horizon.

Problem is, suddenly that line is not so clear. It has blurred in your eyes and your paths begin to overlap. Sometimes you stumble onto their path. Sometimes they bump into yours. All this time, both of you trying to stay on parallel paths that neither of you can see.

That person that you've known for such a long time that you know all their little quirks and what makes them tick. That person you can read right through when they're hiding something. That person who's façade you can knock down in a second. That person... who suddenly has a side you've never seen before.

It happens in the innocent hand holding so neither will get lost in a crowd. A hug that lingers just a second longer. Those talks of relationships that suddenly shift into a hypothetical partnering of you two. Discussing your future plans with a concern of how the other will react. More importantly, that ever present electricity when the two of you are alone together.

Electricity. An electricity that makes you feel uneasy but feels great at the same time. Their very presence seems to fill up the air. You yearn for them, to stop pretending you can still see the line, now nothing more than a blurry afterimage that you both still cling onto for dear life...

Afraid that if you let go of it, rather than overlapping paths, they will diverge forever. So you pour your heart out to those around you. What do they think? Is it worth the risk? Do they think it's mutual? Ultimately, it doesn't matter what they think. Not really. If they are against, your heart will keep screaming it can't be nothing. If they are in favor, you brain doubts their knowledge.

But you can't let go. You convince yourself that it's worth the risk. Your fears have not been overcome, but you've confidently shoved them into a back corner of your mind. You're set on erasing the remainders of that line next time the electricity happens. You run through scenarios in your head how you'll be brave and kiss them. How you'll sweep them off their feet in a grand gesture. How you shyly confess your new found feelings.

The scenarios take on a life of their own. Of course it will work. If you two have been on parallel paths for so long, surely one misstep over the line won't tear you apart even if it's unrequited. With every passing rerun of the scenarios in your head you pick up the courage.

Yes. This is what you must do. Get it out of your system before it festers and morphs into some unrecognizable mutation. Erase the line while it's blurred.

Surely the next time you see them you will take that brave step. And yet...

You don't. Because, after all, what if it's all in your head. What if the blurred line was your eyes not adjusting properly to the light.