When I Stopped Chasing People

It was a rainy Wednesday when I realized something that changed my life forever.

I had just sent a message to someone I considered a close friend—just a simple “Hope you’re doing okay” after not hearing from them for weeks. I watched the little “seen” icon pop up beneath the message. And then… nothing. No reply. No explanation.

I told myself maybe they were busy. Maybe they forgot. Maybe they’d get back to me. But the truth is, it wasn’t the first time. It had happened so many times before. I was always the one reaching out. Always the one checking in. Always the one trying to keep the connection alive.

And at that moment, I felt something snap inside me—not in anger, but in quiet, painful clarity.

Why was I trying so hard to stay in the lives of people who didn’t seem to care if I was there or not?

I sat with that question for a long time. I thought about the friendships I had bent over backward to maintain. The people I had supported during their worst times, only to be forgotten during mine. The times I had ignored red flags and held on—hoping they'd see my worth someday.

That day, I did something I never thought I would: I deleted the chat.

Not out of hate. Not out of bitterness. But out of peace.

I made a silent promise to myself that day: I will no longer chase people who treat me like an option. I will choose me.

At first, it was uncomfortable. My phone was quieter. The usual buzz of conversations was gone. The silence felt like a void. But slowly, that silence became something else—it became peace.

I began to see how much energy I had spent chasing people, trying to be “enough” for them. Enough to be loved, enough to be included, enough to matter. But in doing so, I had forgotten to be enough for myself.

I started investing in myself. I picked up my journal again. I began reading books that made me feel seen. I started walking without a destination, just to feel the wind on my face. I stopped trying to fix broken relationships and began healing the broken parts of me.

And here’s the part no one talks about enough: when you stop chasing people, the right ones find you.

Slowly, new people came into my life—people who matched my energy. People who didn’t make me question my worth. People who reached out first. People who saw me without me having to scream for attention.

The truth is, when you let go of what isn’t real, you make space for what is.

You don’t lose people when you stop chasing them. You lose illusions. And that’s a beautiful beginning.

So here’s what I learned, and what I hope you carry with you:

You don’t have to beg to be loved.

You don’t have to prove your worth to stay in someone’s life.

You are not hard to love—just trying to love the wrong people.

Let them go. Heal. Choose you.

Your peace is worth more than forced connections.

And believe me—you’ll thank yourself later.