Wasted Shenanigans of Christmas 2019

It was my second Christmas away from home. I had moved away a year prior, which was only supposed to be six months. But life happened and I had met someone. Let's refer to him as Mikey*. Funny how things happen. The job I moved for, were very happy with how things panned out. Then.

As it's summer in the Southern Hemisphere for Christmas, we don't have the traditional snowy cutesy Christmas shindigs that we see in the movies so Christmas here is just one big summer bang. Most of the time.

Anyway, Christmas 2019 was knocking on our door and looking back, it was just weird. I was spending my first Christmas with my then partner. You could say, it was the honeymoon period. Things were cute, fresh, and idealistic. We both had busy lives. Working full time in two completely different fields but customer based. We met in the middle, somehow.

I think Christmas Day itself was awkward for me. It was a fresh relationship, and I hadn't really met his side properly. I was alright with his parents and kids (yeah, got a thing for daddies) but the extended family were a wee distant with things and how they came about.

When I'm put into a situation, say a party for instance, I get liquored up quickly to escape the awkwardness (or social anxiety, for some). One time, I went to Wellington with a uni mate for a party. She said I had met the birthday girl, a week earlier at my mates 21st but same ordeal, her mates were way cooler than me, so I liquored up fairly quickly. By the end of the night, I knew everyone. I suppose it's bad in a way but hey, ya do what ya do to survive!

Also, I have that mindset that if it's a gathering with food, that I won't eat as much and replace food with a liquid diet. That day, I had spent most of the day, helping preparations where I could, tidying up where I could, entertaining the fur babies, but pretty sure, I spent most of it, drinking. I wanted to be in a state where I wasn't as awkward as I was when I was sober. I was still functioning.

Everyone had arrived and I was socialising, probably slurring more than socialising. I tried to connect with Mikey's brother, you know, coz the future with Mikey, was shaping up to be something. The work life needed to be tweaked again but other than that, things looked good. I'm assuming his brother attempted 21 questions with me but gave up once his cigarette ended. You know when you see people go out for a cigarette and think, ooh opportunity for a heart-to-heart? Yeah, that time sailed fairly quickly.

Mikey loved the greenery very much. I haven't seen someone consume so much like Mikey and his children did. My hands aren't clean, I touched some over the years. I think we all have. Either way, around this time moving into Summer 2019/2020, the usage increased. So, I saw more of my own company more than spending with him because he shut me out of his problems. At the beginning of our relo, he warned me when he gets stressed out, he uses more. I said cool, reach out to me. We are in this together.

Well, I think that shit went out the window. So, I started to get tactful. I started using a bit more just to be in his company. Some days, it was a lucky dip. Would I get fake Mikey or the real deal? The Mikey I first met; I think was fake. A luring in.

Well, my amazing concoction on Christmas Day, 7% RTDs, hardly any food, anxious & some green, exhausted me out and I coma'd at sixish. So, I never got to see the extended family out. That was the last time I saw them.

I s'pose looking back, there were multiple red flags that stuck out but being in a lust-filled bubble, I ignored such things and continued to motor on. Well, Covid19 in March 2020 flushed out our relationship and Mikey called it quits. Blamed it on me. True narcissism moves. Within 3 days of him booting me out and giving me 2 weeks to move out,

I had gone.

Sayonara.

* Name has been changed to hide identities.