Was I Dating a Narcissist?

A year ago, i was crying in my bed one day,it had been many days since i was crying at night, the reason was i haven't talked to my boyfriend since one week. We had a fight and we both kind of broke up, but i was missing him very badly. I was stopping myself from contacting him and thought it was not my fault and i should wait for few more days. A week passed like this and i didn't received a call or message from him. But i couldn't resist myself and called him up.

He was normal as if he doesn't care or this thing didn't bother him anyhow. At one side here i was thinking about him every day and night , on the other hand he had no worries about all this . He was calm and normal and when i asked him that why you didn't called as you should have done , he gave me a surprising answer that i know "you'll do it yourself as you always do."

At that moment it just strike my mind that am i the only one in this relationship?. Am i the only one suffering? It has been 8 long years to our relationship and realizing this at this time when was about to get married to him in one or two years, this thought teared me from inside and that was the day that my life turned totally upside down. Even after been in relationship for 8 long years i was totally clueless whenever i used to think about it.

It was not that he has not given commitments nor was he cheating on me but the thing was he never indulged himself emotionally with me. I remember one time when we were together we had an argument and i started crying , i cried for one hour, we were in a same room and he did not dared to ask me just a simple question that what happened to me or asking me not to cry. I stopped crying on my own and realized that he just do not care. and some time later when he was in good mood he tried to indulge in physically with me.

This is the worst i could remember about my relationship. This made me realize that we had just a physical connection not an emotional one. Whenever i use to cry in front of him he never tried to make me happy or even talk to me. Whenever i was in trouble he was not there to help me out or even supporting me emotionally. It seemed like my suffering or being in pain does not bother him .This thing was happening almost from past eight years and i didn't even gave a thought about it because i was so blinded by the image that he has built in front of me.

A narcissist always try to build a image first then they take control of your mind and thinking. Even when i used to think his image just does not allow me to so as he has himself settled those notions and principles about him in my mind. He constantly used to remind me what he was or what believes in and i felled prey to his words. He constantly took love away from me and in return made me empty , there was a not a single thing a could remember that he has done for me in this entire relationship except the physical pleasures.

It was only when i got out of this entire relationship completely that i managed to understand him and his tricks. Now after eight long years i somehow found in him the traits of a Narcissist , the traits and red flags that i ignored for several years.

A narcissist always:

is empathetic , it doesn't bother them whether you are happy or not, if you are being hurt or you have some trouble but they will definitely bother you when they have trouble or they are unhappy.

They will shower their anger or rage on you even if you are not the doer or you do not support them in anything they believe. They believe themselves the superior of all even their closest one. They are always in competition with other friends or relatives or even with their closed friends.

They always try to be kind to you and their act of kindness is always tied to an expectation or they want something in return from you. From their act of kindness they make you believe that they are really a good person and they will always brag about it if they had done a good thing to you.

They will never admit their mistakes even when caught red handed, they will always show or find other reasons for their mistake and never accept their defeat as they are always desperate to look better than every one else. I remember i have not heard sorry in these eight long years even once. Every time he committed a mistake he never apologized even he made me the reason of his mistake or condemned everyone around himself.

They can not see you more happy than themselves even the one whom they claim to love so much.If by chance you are more happy in front of them they will try to torn you by abusing you or defaming you so that you are not confident about yourself. And when they are sad they are the worst , they will make sure that you also be sad by fighting or defaming you.

They will only show you their true colors when they are angry,then only they will let you know how worst they can be ! I would like to tell you believe them. Just believe what they do and say when they are angry. Its just glimpse of what they actually are and their reality is much more wider than that!.