🎵The Wheels and My Butt Go Round and Round🎵

February 10, 2015 at the University of Massachusetts, Lowell. A day that will live rent free in my mind for the rest of my life. At that time, I lived rather predictable days. They consisted of class, dining hall, class, dining hall, homework, dining hall, you get the picture. This college campus was unique, and in order to get to classes we had to take a bus to go between the dorms and classes.

By 2015, I was a seasoned veteran with the bus system. I had evolved from the frantic freshman running as if their life depended on catching the bus, to the confident Junior who knew exactly what time to leave to catch the bus and just how much I could procrastinate. Have you ever been so confident with something that your confidence led to a rather comical humbling?

The day of humbling was just an average freezing cold Tuesday in the middle of winter at UMass Lowell. I was on the third floor of the music building in a practice room singing my scales and keeping an eye out for the bus that would be turning down the block at any moment, because why be waiting out front for the bus? I’m a professional.

There it was! The bus rounding the corner. I swiftly packed up my backpack and set off for the 357-step journey to the bus. Everything was going smoothly, the pep in my step wasn't leaving. I was unstoppable. I quickly notice, the bus driver was driving exceptionally fast, and I was not moving nearly fast enough to catch the bus. Missing it would mean a minimum 30-minute wait for the next ride and my freshly grown out leg hairs told me it was too cold to wait for another bus.

"Better pick up the pace" I thought to myself as I quickened tempo. Traveling at an exceptional rate my enormous backpack was bouncing on my back with each running step. Quasimodo was on the move!

There I was, only twenty more feet and I would make it. There were two doors on these buses one by the driver and one towards the rear of the bus, I was aiming for the rear. I knew if I could grab the driver’s attention in the side mirrors, he would see me struggling and surely wait. Wrong, this guy was a savage. I managed to grab the railing in the bus and thought, “YES, I’VE MADE-”.

At that very moment the doors closed, and not just closed shut. But closed on ME!! I was frozen mid-step in a squatting position. Confused, it all happened so fast, I thought "Oh I'll just pull myself free." As I tightened my grip, I made eye contact with a student (lets call him Alex) who was sitting in a seat directly in front of me. We shared a confused and unblinkingly gaze as I attempted to hoist myself into the bus. It was NOT working.

I was stuck. Not like "oops just a little tug of the jacket and I’m free" stuck. I was sitting as if I was on the toilet, and the doors were shut on the middle of my thighs and right behind my backpack. Half of me was in. Half of me was out.

Eagerly waiting outside, were other bus goers, who had front row seats to "Bus Ride Home: featuring "my Butt".

Lets take a moment to sit in the awkwardness....

Okay. That's enough.

As I continued to make eye contact with Alex, we both realized the situation. I could tell he wasn't sure if he should get up and help me or leave me there. I didn't want to make a scene and either did he. In silence, our eyes communicated.

Alex's eyes "Oh shit, you're stuck. You good? (looking me over concerned) Need help?"

My eyes "Ya ya, no I'm fine. Well, I don't know actually, but its okay don't get up, I'm sure the bus driver saw me".

Nothing had changed except for the students, who were getting more comfortable in their seats. I realized I was perfectly hidden from the bus driver but as I sat in my invisible chair and reassured myself, "He surely saw me, or can see my lower half in his side mirror. There is no way he doesn't see me."

My quads began to burn, and my butt was getting cold sitting outside the doors. That's when I heard the release of the break and I felt the rolling of the bus. (This is one of those “BUT wait there's more!!” moments, pun fully intended) HE STARTED DRIVING AWAY! Hind haunches stuck outside and all. Secured tightly in the doors and unafraid, I tightened my grip, preparing to tour my butt around all of Lowell.

I locked eyes with Alex once again when we both felt the propelling of the bus. I saw fear grow inside him and come out of his every being. He stooped up so fast that he fell forward a few steps and screamed in terror, "STOP THE BUSSSSSS!!!!!!" His face was bright red, and a forehead vein even started to make an appearance.

I was wondering if I should be as worried for myself as he was. He pointed at me and drew most of the attention of the completely full bus towards me. The bus driver abruptly slammed on his breaks stopping with urgency. I swung from one side to the other in the doors, faithfully holding my squat as the doors had allowed. The driver’s quizzical brow and concerned eyes, showed he was more troubled by Alex's red yelling face than actually knowing why he was stopping.

"kkkcccchhhssshhhhh" the doors released. Alex was the hero of the century. I WAS FREE! I made my way up the stairs and thankfully, I wore a large infinity scarf that day. I was able to hide my face from the countless sets of eyes plastered on me.

And for the last time, Alex's eyes met with mine and we had a mutual agreement. Thankful and relieved, we nodded at one another '....That was a close one." I then made my way to an empty seat and nestled my head into the neck of my jacket.

Mid processing, a girl sitting close by had realized what happened. She leaned toward me and said, "it’s okay, I got my hand stuck one time, it was scary."

We shared an awkward I-feel-bad-for-you laugh, and I returned to the comfort and laughter of my scarf.

With one big breath of humbling acceptance, I thought to myself

"Butt that's hardly comparable."