The Intent of Resolutions

What are your New Year resolutions? To lose weight? Take more vacations? Get a better job? Go to the gym? Or is it to enjoy life more and live it to the fullest? Maybe you promise to spend more time with family this year and work less? I know a common one I always make is to spend less money and make more for the sake of my family and to lose weight. But like everyone I know.. those promises I make on the eve of New Year never come to fruition. Why.. you may ask? Life. Life happens and you go from being happy on New Year's Eve to super busy or putting things off until later... then you look up and the year is almost over, so you say well.. maybe next year I will commit more to my resolutions. Everyone has intent to keep those resolutions they make... but life and stuff gets in the way and we never keep those promises.. and that becomes a cycle of life.

If you are like me, though, life is alot to handle and sometimes the thought of making new years' resolutions gives you hope to look forward to. I am a mother of 7 and I am stressed... a lot... but not by what you may be thinking. I have the burden of being the go-to person in my family and the shoulder everyone leans on... to the point of it almost seem like my back is going to break in two if I don't get... rest. I just want a break.. to myself to just... rest. I do everything for EVERYONE and for once, my resolution would be to have someone.. anyone.. help me sometime so I can have a small break from life to rest.. before it literally breaks me. I love my kids, don't get me wrong. I go through hell for them everyday with a smile on my face and I will walk through fire to save them. But during the pandemic, it seems like the burden of life has increased 10000%. They have been home everyday since 2020 being taught virtually. I have to help 5 kids at the same time while caring for the smaller two. Where is the father, you may ask? He is here also but you may as well add him to the list of children I have to care for, as I do everything... literally everything... for him on top of the kids. The repairs, the cleaning, the bills, the kids, the planning for everything.. it all falls on me. Whatever there is to do... it is all on me. If it goes lacking, if something does not get done who gets the blame? ME. And on top of my own household, if my brothers or sisters, aunts or uncles, cousins or parents need something done... they call on me. Well, that's life you may say because everyone deals with similar things. My life is not like others and there is a point to this memory lane.

What is it you may ask? My resolution to myself this year is the point to this whole story. I want to take better care of myself because the stress of the world is weighing down on me so much it is causing me literal back problems. I want to find the balance between loving myself enough to take better care of my body: which includes lots of rest and exercises that help my back heal. If I can dopplegang myself this year, that would be awesome! But in the grand scheme of things, I need help. I want the people in my life to help me by easing the weight off my shoulders and taking responsibility for the things they can do themselves without me because I feel like if I do not take these resolutions seriously and just put them off like every year before... I won't be around in 2023.