The Girl, the Beast, and God

The Beast:

She pulls up the corners of her mouth and nods like nothing's wrong, but we know better. We shadow her, after all. We see the way she tosses in her bed, fighting off the darkness in her head. She cries out to Him, but He is holy and she is far from it. We remind her every chance we get. She's waving goodbye now, turning her back now, her smile settles back into a straight line, fatigue now creasing her forehead. She is running on very little sleep. The temptation should be easy. The trap will come when she's much too tired to fight.

The Girl:

I am blessed. Much more than I deserve. I look around at my family, at my home, and I know God has done this. He is gracious and kind and I am undeserving, but I seek to honor Him with my life. It's the least I can do. But oh, how I tire of late. Often I open up scripture and often, I fall asleep while reading. How can I call myself His when I fail at such small but important things? The worst is at night. I can't tell half the time whether I'm waking or dreaming... whether I am re-living my past on purpose or if it's merely my subconscious playing tricks on me? I feel it in my flesh, how prone I am to wander. Oh God, help me. I am so weak. I must try harder.

The Beast:

There she goes again, crying to Him. What a bore! Oh, but her carnality is just beneath the surface. She oozes with sensuality, and her loneliness is palpable. We can use this. Mmm. Yes. We will use this.

The Girl:

Oh God in heaven, forgive me. I tried to fight it, but I succumbed. My mind yielded itself to the dark. Will I ever change?

The Beast:

We've got her now. See how she stiffens her back. She knows she is losing. Let us convince her fighting is of no use. If we can convince her she is useless... she will be.

The Girl:

How dull I have become. How cold. How can I cry to God after I've done it again? Is it of any use? How can I sing to Him while I dance with the devil? I feel him at the door, beckoning. He promises satisfaction. It will not last. But oh, how I seek escape. How it makes my mind swim. I know the daylight will come, but until then, what can I do? If I feel... I hurt. Maybe for a little longer I can dance.

The Beast:

Steady now. She's in our hands. Watch how she compromises. That's it, girl. Let us in. We can make you feel something again.

The Girl:

What have I done?

The Beast:

She is ours! See how she rends her clothes. See how she claws at her skin. Ha! Is anything better than her chapped eyelids? She will hide now. For how long? We must act quickly.

The Girl:

What is my life? I am a wretch. Oh how I hurt those who love me. Would they not fare better without me? How can I protect them from myself, seeing as I do not change? I cannot change. This is who I am. Not even Heaven hears me now.

The Beast:

Let us go in for the kill.

The Girl:

It would be so easy.

The Beast:

Yes.

The Girl:

It wouldn't hurt for long.

The Beast:

Come on now. Just a little more.

The Girl:

I feel so cold. I'm afraid. I- I don't really want to die.

The Beast:

Don't!

The Girl:

Oh God! If You hear me, I'm sorry. I don't want to die!

The Beast:

NO!

AH! AHHH!

The Girl:

All night I make my bed swim. My bones are brittle and my heart is heavy with the weight of my sin. How can I ask for forgiveness? And yet... I am lost without You! I'm sorry. Oh God. I'm so sorry.

Him:

Daughter.

The Girl:

How can you call me that still? After all I have done?

Him:

It is finished now.

The Girl:

I've made a mess.

Him:

I've made a Way.

The Girl:

But... who am I?

Him:

You are mine and nothing can pluck you from My hand or hide you from My love.

The Girl:

Don't let me go!

Him:

In the mountain or the valley... I will never leave you nor forsake you.