The Dating App Dilemma.

I’ve done the dating app thing. More times than I’d care to admit, I’ve created an account, swiped left, swiped right, and then promptly deleted it after a few days. Every single time. It’s like some sort of digital cycle I can’t escape, where I get excited about the possibility of meeting someone, only to be overwhelmed by the sheer presence of the people who do show interest. I mean, I know the point of dating apps is to meet people, but sometimes it feels more like meeting everyone except the person I want to meet.

Here’s the thing: the good morning messages. Yes, those cheery little notes that flood my inbox the minute I log in. “Good morning, sunshine!” they say. “How’s your day going?” they ask. Now, I know it’s meant to be friendly, but there's something about it that feels… off. I get that people are trying to start a conversation, but it feels presumptuous. I’ve only just met you, and you’re already interrupting my morning routine? The one time of day when I’m allowed to exist without having to manage anyone else’s expectations?

You might be wondering why this bothers me so much. It’s just a message, right? A simple greeting. But it feels like more than that. It’s the intrusion into my quiet space. The morning is sacred to me. It’s when I get my thoughts together, plan my day, and get a little bit of peace before everything gets loud. And then, out of nowhere, a message pops up. I don’t know this person; I don’t even know if I want to talk to them yet. And yet, they’ve just inserted themselves into my morning like it’s no big deal.

It’s not even about the message itself. It’s about what it represents: the pressure to respond, the need to be “on,” the feeling that I’m supposed to meet someone’s energy before I’ve had my first cup of coffee. It's the emotional labor involved in navigating someone else's expectations when I’m still half-awake. And that’s not even considering the flood of other messages that follow—each one a little louder, a little more eager than the last.

I want to stress that I don’t think these people are bad or malicious. They’re just trying to start a connection, and in the world of dating apps, starting with a "Good morning" seems like a safe bet. But for me, it feels like a bad precedence is being set. We’re already starting with the assumption that we’re connected enough for me to drop everything and chat. That’s not the kind of connection I’m looking for.

What I really crave is a more measured, slower approach to getting to know someone. I want to build a relationship where we respect each other’s time, space, and rhythm. I don’t need to be bombarded with messages that feel rushed or forced. If anything, I’m looking for someone who can understand that sometimes, silence is just as important as conversation. The person I want to meet isn’t going to interrupt my morning with an urgent greeting; instead, they’ll respect my need for space and time to connect when it feels right.

So, why do I keep leaving these apps? Well, it’s not just the messages—it’s the whole experience. It feels like a game, and I’m just not interested in playing. There’s this constant cycle of chatting, connecting, getting excited, and then getting overwhelmed. I know some people thrive in that environment, but for me, it’s exhausting. It’s like a never-ending stream of conversations that don’t ever really go anywhere.

I’ve even tried Christian dating sites, thinking maybe a more like-minded, faith-centered approach would make the difference. And for a moment, it did. The conversations felt more meaningful, and the intentions seemed clearer. But eventually, I still ran into the same issues. People seemed eager to connect, sometimes to the point where it felt forced. Even when the values lined up, the pace just didn’t match mine.

At the end of the day, I’m left asking myself: Will I ever meet someone? Do I care? Honestly, I’m not sure. Part of me wants to meet someone, but the other part values my peace so much that I wonder if I’m willing to share it. Relationships are about balance, right? And right now, my balance is in my own space, my quiet moments, and my routine.

Maybe it’s a sign that I’m just not ready for the type of connection that dating apps encourage. Or maybe I just need to find a different way of meeting people—something more organic, less rushed. But for now, I’m going to continue enjoying my mornings, my peace, and my ability to exist without feeling the weight of someone else’s good intentions.

And if, someday, I meet someone who respects my space and my pace? Well, that would be the most romantic thing of all.