The Date

Passing the time, looking around and looking for a soul to accompany to follow, she continues to walk towards the dark small alley. So many feelings to hold, to resist, to procrastinate so no one will know how she feels. She continued to look, to see if she could find the smell, the shadow left by that man.

They met at the park. He was sitting at the bench. He looked all dandy and quirky. He did look handsome but the most important thing was his energy. He was wearing green shoes and laughed about her having a plant called "Lisa the Orchid." He told her about his childhood, his father passing in a blitz and about his mom being the old queen, still enjoying life, going to concerts and meeting friends. He was a very interesting soul. He was a nice looking guy and she got to enjoyed him for some hours.

However, he didn’t want to follow her cause she is attached. She has those family ties, those family bond. On the other hand, he doesn’t have no one. He is alone but he likes to be and he wants to have a woman just for him. He said, "he doesn’t want to share." Then she thought, she doesn’t want to have those ties, but her kids. She doesn’t want to continue living in that house located in the middle of the famers fields and cows. She wants to run away. She doesn’t want to deal with the family things.

She is being alone. She is being doing everything alone and no one sees this. She wants to run, run and run even more to a place in which she is not verbal abuse, o no one is telling her what is fair and what is not. At the end, she is alone. She was left again, and again. She wants to run and don’t look back and don’t look nowhere.

Some months, passed after the date, and she is in another state of mind. She wants to run still, but this time a slowly exit is expected. She is preparing herself in a better way to be free. She doesn’t care about another date or meeting another man. She had enough from the last one and she is tired of trying to express, show, and let others know what she is capable of; she doesn’t want that.

She would like to run, run and don’t look back because she wants to be free, free from being judged, being criticized, being the mom. Don’t get it wrong, she loves to be a mom, but she is tired. It is good to be a mom certain hours of the day. Does she want to date again? She asked herself, with the answer of “yes.” Don’t be afraid of another date. It didn’t work with the guy that was wearing green shoes. It might work with another guy, with another man that can really see her.

She is not perfect, not either she wants to be… she would like to be herself and that someone loves her for that. She would like to run, to run away from the misery of being in an apartment in which she feels that she is there only to run errands, to be a mom, to be just the caregiver. She wants someone that takes care of her. She would like to date and have the feeling of being gazed. She wants to have a date to feel desire, to feel like a young woman again. At the end, maybe she doesn’t need those feelings, and this is more a scape cause she doesn’t like this part of her life anymore.