The Beginning or the End

She smiled, it was theirs. She danced as they walked onto the land, their property. He was calm or so he seemed and then all of a sudden he grabbed her and swung her in a circle. She laughed. This was a good start she thought.

Their honeymoon had been in a fancy local hotel. Bunch champaign, and a swimming pool. Her friends had been surprised, their wedding vows had made it sound like they would be going on a safari to Africa, or hiking up an uncharted mountain. They had taken a vow that their life would be exciting, an endless adventure. Not a sleepwalking existence. And yet they had spent their honeymoon here and waited to have a real honeymoon on their land. Tonight they would camp out in the falling apart barn. There was a small house that came with it, but they had both agreed their first night would be outside, and it seemed like the weather was permitting. He kissed her, she hugged him. There was very little to unpack. They each had two suitcases of clothes each. Neither of them had many worldly possessions.

They had met on her trip to Peru. Not a traditional trip. It had been out in the Amazon. She had been with her church group but he was there on his own. He had been forging through the trees when they spotted him. He had long messy blond hair. All his possessions were in the backpack on his back. He had offered to lead the way. The mission leader was surprised but said yes. Not many Americans made peace with the tribes. He had not seemed to notice her. She smiled rethinking the event. He had seemed sort of odd to her, not the traditional church person. But her had definitely caught the whole group's attention.

When they left the Amazon territory he had decided to go with them. Not because of her. In fact, he had never told her why. He had been on her boat as they went down the river. He had talked as she paddled the boat. Every once in a while he would stop the chitter-chatter to help her out. She had felt like she was on one of his adventures. It was not until the plane ride back that she felt they had begun to connect. He had moved his seat to sit next to her. He had cleaned up for the flight. He was different than most of her dates, no questions about her. It was as if he was performing in an audition. He said nothing about his family. On a future date, she asked him why. You are not marrying my family he told her you are marrying me. she had smiled,

And here they were a year later married. He took her hand. He was much calmer now. She rested her head on his shoulder. He rubbed her hair, this was going to be our adventure. Not his family's responsibility but our responsibility Silence of nature a nice peace with the man she loved. The noises around them, much calmer than the amazon, let both of then know that they were on the right path.

Two years later the barn and house were completed. He was talking about a baby. She was always talking about returning to the Amazon. Both listened, but neither seemed to hear. They were best friends but were they lovers she wondered. Did they emotionally excite each other. Life was a routine, it was rare that anything happened that she could not perdict. unless it had something to do with work. Last week at church they had announced another mission trip. She knew they were a team but she did not ask him. She signed up for the trip

It was to Brazil, she did not know what she was looking for. Maybe to discover if the routine in her life was how she wanted to live her life. He did not want to go. Something about work. She was not surprised in fact that was what she was expecting. They did not discuss it. Life went on as normal . When it was time for her to leave he drove her to the airport,and gave her a passionate kiss. The most passionate kiss he had given her in months. Lately sex had just been to produce a baby. She had thought of getting birth control pills. She was not sure if she wanted to be tied down to this life,

She took in a deep breathe of freedom as she stepped off the plane in Brazil. She hadn't even found out what they would be doing. She was surprised and pleased to find that she was going to be helping a lady with her weaving. The week flew by. She did not want to go home. Her mentor gave her two pieces of fabric, and she purchased two more She felt as if her sanity had returned but she was not sure she wanted to go back. She wanted to spend another week weaving . She had prayed in church for an answer. Everyone else was eager to get home. She wondered if she would be welcomed in the same manner as she had when she left. She wondered if she would get a kiss of passion.

Everybody but her and Sam was greeted by a waiting family. She tried not to look embarrassed. Sam gave her a ride to her house. On the kitchen table was a note. An apology and something about work. He had made reservations to take her out to dinner. She unpacked and looked at her weavings. On one was a note. A local phone number and the word weaving. She charged her phone and then quickly called the number. The lady spoke in broken english. I want to hire you she said. I need help on my weaving. After a moment of silence she answered the question with a excited yes. When , where, are you sure. Both she and the lady smiled as they set up the place and time. When she got off the phone , she prayed. God must have been listening, but there still seemed to be so many more questions. When her husband got home they gave each other a kiss. No passion , no anything at all just a polite kiss. As they ate she told him about her trip and about her new job. "What about your old job? he asked" Well this job is for me she answered. Not just to pay the bills, to satisfy me, a new adventure. He took her hands, Maria he said life is not a constant adventure. In side she cried. "Ethan , she said. you promised me." He sighed," I was young, unrealistic." "No you were alive with passion and energy. " They sat and silently ate their meal. In the morning she went to her weaving job, and when Saturday evening came, and they pertook in their weekly ritual to get her pregnant, she smiled because she was already on the pill. God would guide her if she was patient.