The 30s Chronicles

Turning 39 isn’t some grand entrance to the gates of wisdom, nor is it a tragic descent into endless responsibilities. It’s somewhere in between, where fun, weirdness, and fine wine coexist.

Let me just adjust my posture real quick.

Alright, now that I'm situated like a human again (or at least trying to be), let’s dive into these nuggets of "30-something" wisdom.

Instant Coffee Is Neither Instant Nor Coffee

If your definition of brewing involves dissolving powder in hot water, you need to rethink your life choices. Learn to make a decent cup of coffee—it’s a basic life skill, like tying your shoelaces or not watching reality TV.

Life Is Like an IKEA Manual

Confusing, occasionally missing parts, but when it comes together, it's strangely satisfying. Stop blaming the instructions and start assembling your life. And yes, those leftover screws are probably important.

Your Phone Is Not Your Friend

Despite its sleek, comforting presence, your phone is a deceptive little gadget. It won’t hold your hand through heartbreak or give you real-life hugs. Put it down, and talk to a real human. You’ll thank me when you avoid texting your ex at 2 AM.

Running Shoes Will Not Make You a Runner

Buying those expensive trainers might make you look the part, but the real magic happens when you get off the couch. Also, running from your problems doesn’t count.

The Laundry Will Never Fold Itself

Life’s mundane tasks, like folding laundry, don’t magically disappear. Deal with them head-on. Who knows, maybe you’ll find zen in neatly folded socks. Or at least a matching pair.

DIY Projects Are Not Instagrammable

That pallet coffee table seemed like a great idea, but now your living room looks like a lumber yard. Sometimes, it’s okay to let professionals handle it. Your dignity will thank you.

Procrastination: The Silent Dream Killer

Putting off until tomorrow what you can do today is the thief of your dreams. Write that book, start that business, or at least clear out the junk drawer. Netflix can wait. Okay, maybe just one more episode.

Comparing Your Life to Others is a Losing Game

Social media is a highlight reel, not reality. Everyone’s got their struggles—some are just better at hiding them behind filtered smiles. Remember, even that influencer with the perfect beach hair has bad days and bad hair days.

Happy Hour Is More About the "Happy" Than the "Hour"

Spending time with loved ones, not the overpriced cocktails, makes memories. Choose laughter over liquor. Just don't laugh so hard you spill your drink.

Being Single Is Not a Status, It’s a Choice

Society’s timeline is an illusion. Your happiness does not depend on your relationship status. Live your life on your terms. You do you, and the right person will show up when you least expect it—probably when you’re in sweatpants.

The Real Rejection Olympics: Job Hunting

If you think dating rejection is tough, try job hunting. A thick skin and a positive attitude will get you through those “Thanks, but no thanks” emails. Just remember to smile through the tears.

Pay Your Bills, Brush Your Teeth, Call Your Mom

Some things are non-negotiable. Adulting isn’t glamorous, but it’s necessary. And yes, your mom really does want to hear from you. She might even have some wisdom to share, if you can get past the 20-minute lecture.

The Great Biryani Debate

First things first – let's address the elephant in the room. There's no such thing as Veg Biryani. It's Veg Pulao masquerading as its cooler cousin. If you're still arguing about this in your 30s, congratulations! You've officially become that uncle at family gatherings.

The WhatsApp Morning Show

Remember when mornings were about peaceful contemplation? Now, it's a race to see who can send the most "Good Morning" messages with sparkly flowers and quotes from philosophers you've never heard of.

The AC Cold War

Every couple has that one ongoing battle – the AC temperature. One person is trying to recreate the Arctic, while the other is bundled up like they're on an expedition to the North Pole. It's a cold war that makes global politics look like child's play.

The Plastic Bag Inception

You know you're a true Indian adult when you have a plastic bag full of other plastic bags. It's like inception, but with less Leonardo DiCaprio and more potential for suffocation warnings.

Life Hacks Are Mostly Common Sense

There’s no secret sauce to life. Be kind, work hard, stay curious, and don’t take yourself too seriously. And always keep a spare set of keys. Trust me on this one.