Survey says Americans are having less sex

There's been a lot of hand-wringing in recent years about (young) people not having sex. On Valentine's Day, CNN reported that Americans are "less likely to have sex...than ever."

According to the most recent General Social Study (GSS), a nationally representative survey of American adults released every year since 1972, 26% of adults in the United States had no sex at all in 2021. While COVID did not help with physical contact, the trend is similar to pre-pandemic levels. In the two most recent surveys, 23 percent of adults said they had no sex at all in 2016 and 2018.

Is it true that we're having less sex than we've ever had? In a few data points, it's impossible to tell. However, if you find yourself in a sexless group and want to get out, there are options.

Take into account the facts.

Remember that even a nationally representative sample won't represent what each and every person is going through when looking at survey results. In the GSS data for 2021, for example, the hard number of people informing GSS they haven't had sex in the last 12 months is 633 out of 4,032. In reality, 46% (1,875) of participants didn't have an appropriate response, indicated they didn't know, or just didn't respond to the question.

That isn't to say that we should dismiss these findings completely. The GSS is far from the first study to imply that individuals are having less sex, particularly Millennials and Gen Z.

However, one number does not convey the whole story, nor does it go into the causes for it.

Why aren't we having as much sex as we used to?

Beyond Satisfied: A Sex Hacker's Guide to Endless Orgasms, Mind-Blowing Connection, and Lasting Confidence is a sex educator and author. Kenneth Play believes that as our online lives become more complex, our capacity to connect in person is deteriorating. "Every new technology and dating app has been catapulting this tendency," he told Mashable. "When you combine pandemic lockdown with loneliness and disconnection, you have a prescription for loneliness and disconnection."

The play worked as a personal trainer prior to his current position. He learned that he was competing with the entertainment industry, not other fitness businesses. It's a lot easier to binge Netflix than it is to get oneself to the gym, for example.

"In our hyper-convenient era, we have too many options competing for our attention," he remarked. "It makes social interaction more difficult than it has ever been."

It's understandable that we're having less sex as a result of our hyper-convenient world, the pressures of a pandemic, and the busyness of modern life.

Even if they aren't having sex, they may crave it. According to the current Happiness Index from dating site eharmony, a nationally representative study of 3,000 people, 41% of singles say their libido is higher now than it was before the pandemic.

Play, a "sex hacker" who helps people enhance their sex and intimacy, says he's getting more requests for help in the bedroom than ever before.

The surge of 20,000 users on the inclusive app Headero since July 202, according to Stephen Quaderer, creator of the inclusive app for those who adore oral pleasure, is a counterbalance to these data.

Even if they aren't having sex, they may crave it. According to the current Happiness Index from dating site eharmony, a nationally representative study of 3,000 people, 41% of singles say their libido is higher now than it was before the pandemic.

Play, a "sex hacker" who helps people enhance their sex and intimacy, says he's getting more requests for help in the bedroom than ever before.

The surge of 20,000 users on the inclusive app Headero since July 202, according to Stephen Quaderer, creator of the inclusive app for those who adore oral pleasure, is a counterbalance to these data.

Headero's development, according to Quaderer, has something in common with sexless tendencies. According to him, the app's popularity stems from the fact that it provides a secure area for users to be open about their intents and aspirations while remaining grounded in safety and consent. Meanwhile, sex is increasingly framed from the perspective of stigma in society, causing people to question or act on their urges.

This is especially true of social media businesses, which have become our primary communication hubs in recent years. Due to legislation like FOSTA-SESTA, which was intended to combat sex trafficking but has instead pushed sex workers — and sex discourse — to the fringes, tech firms are becoming increasingly cautious.

As Maggie MacDonald, a Ph.D. student at the University of Toronto's pornography platform, told Mashable, "sexuality is only one social element that people like to interact with others over." However, we are not permitted to express this side of ourselves through our primary means of digital communication. This suffocation of online sexual content, paired with a worrying lack of sexual education in schools, can have an impact on our sex lives because if we're not talking about it on the internet, we might as well not be talking about it at all. Pornography, which is a form of stylized entertainment, has become the de facto sex code.

Sexual content is not permitted on Facebook, Instagram, or TikTok. While Twitter does, some users (such as sex workers) say they've been shadowbanned (which means their account is still active but their content is hidden from others).

Both the US government and the platforms themselves monitor sexuality on the internet. But what if you're looking to increase your IRL intimacy but aren't sure where to begin?

How can I get more sex?

While we cannot fix the online erasure of sexuality — or the pandemic, or the hamster wheel of late-stage capitalism — there are tiny, tangible steps that individuals may take to have more sex.

The first piece of advice from Play is to schedule it. "I know, it sounds kind of stupid," he said, "but one of the important findings in sex research is that responsive want provides considerably greater effects in getting people in the mood." Responsive desire is when you get horny after being stimulated by anything external, such as someone touching you. Spontaneous desire is when you get horny without being stimulated...in other words, it happens on its own.

Play acknowledges that transitioning from a hectic day to a pleasurable relationship session can be difficult. To get into an amorous mindset, he suggested constructing a transition ritual. Is there a simple sex hack? Shower with your partner in a sensual manner.

"The idea is to carefully caress each other's bodies while focusing on the sensations that arise in your body," Play explained. "As an added benefit, you'll be clean and smelling terrific in preparation for all the dirty fun ahead!"

Quaderer invites people to learn about more than "the birds and the bees." Read about communication, permission, and, of course, safety. Learning more about sex can not only make you a better lover, but it will also help you root your own sex value system, according to Quaderer.

What are the things that are important to you? What prerequisites must be completed before having sex? What are the limits that can't be crossed?

"Sex is complicated and perplexing," Quaderer explained, "so having a strong set of personal sexual principles can help you negotiate that complexity as it occurs." Knowing what you want from sex might help you figure out if someone is right for you and what desires you want to pursue.

You can seek out networks of like-minded people once you've established solid boundaries and desires. Quaderer recommended his own software, Headers, as well as others such as Feeld, a sexual exploration app, and Bloom, a polyamorous community app.

The sex data is depressing, but it isn't a death sentence. We may buck the trend if we set aside time to be with our partner — or ourselves — and identify our sexual beliefs.