Struggles of being a young mother in Africa

I was often warned about boys by my parents , but as we all know just like any other girl child I thought I knew better .My life was running smoothly ,going to school per usual “ oh by the way I was 17 years of age doing grade 11 “

Met a guy during my high school days, well he was a couple of years older than me ,so I really though the guy was really into me ,but little did I know that he had his own agenda .

The first year we started dating we never got intimate it was as if he was waiting for me to turn 18 years old because in South Africa you’re considered a minor till 18 years and you get your Identity document.The guy took his time with me

Showered me with so many gifts actually I was a spoilt girlfriend even my friends at school envy the relationship I was in “I was still a virgin “The following year on my birthday as I was turning 18 years old he took me out after school ,We went to the most luxurious restaurant had some lunch then went gift shopping afterwards and outfit shopping, a lot of people in the mall thought he was my brother .everything was perfect “ I felt like an it girl after all the spoils “ .

Little did I know that I was digging a hole I would not know how to come out of, so he waits for me to complete my matric “ in my head I’m thinking the guy wants to marry me after I finish high school “ after I was done with my matric exams that when he started asking me for the deed (sex). We have been seeing each other for a year and a couple of months without him forcing or demanding sex from me ,so I thought he was the right guy for me .So with no questions asked I gave up my virginity to him that very day . My parents would never allow me to sleep over at a friends house ,they were strict but I knew how to get away with so many things .

As a I’m from the Zulu tribe you need to keep your virginity till a womanhood ritual is performed for you which is called (mhlonyane) this is done to welcome girls to womenhood but now since I have started being intimate my parents would not be able to perform such for me . They thought I was still a virgin ,I was the most sneaky person in that household that nobody suspected anything “remember now I’m done with school so I have plenty of time in my hands so me and my boyfriend would link up every now and then when my parents were at work , it was all fun and games till on Sunday morning .

I was not feeling well slept the entire day ,I was experiencing spasms in my tummy my mother thought it was food poisoning,so she gave me tablets,took them but now I start vomiting

Now my mom starts to worry “ I was never a sickly child so that was the first time “ she calls my dad so they can take me to the doctor “ I’m not even worried at the time “ my dad gets home ,I get into the car we go to the Dr .

On our way there my mom calls to tell my grandma that I’m not feeling well ,the first thing my grandma said was “ is she not pregnant?” My mom said no ! She’d never embarrass me like that “well in my society should your youngest unmarried daughter fall pregnant you failed as a mother”

So we still on our journey to the Dr mind you my day had asked to go home so he was coming from work,we got to the Dr

We all enter the consultation room ,I get a regular checkup everything seems to be ok ,then I was asked when last I had my period ,that question right there brought me back to my senses,I had no clue when last I saw my period I was so confused ,but because I think I’m smart I lied and said last week

The Dr just gave me a peeing cup to go pee so they can test my pee ,Yoh I felt so weak right there and then I knew something was cooking in my belly

Got to the bathroom peed in the cup then mixed it with water thinking the tester wouldn’t read ,I go back into the room then they put the pregnancy test .....it starts running ,I’m stressed I’m sweating because of the results at this point I felt like disappearing ,the Dr puts the tester in his had and tells my parents that they are going to be grandparents.............. to be continued