Stop Telling Me to Be Grateful — Gratitude Won’t Pay the Bills

There’s this thing people love to say when life gets tough:

“Be grateful.”

And look — I get it. Gratitude has its place. I’m grateful to be where I am. I’m grateful to have a healthy son. I’m grateful to have a job, a roof, and food on the table.

But let’s be real:

Gratitude doesn’t pay rent. It doesn’t buy diapers. It doesn’t carry the mental load of being the only income earner in a household with a newborn.

So no, I’m not ungrateful. I’m just tired of pretending that gratitude is some kind of shield against pressure, burnout, and the quiet “Is this all there is?” moments.

The Job That Feeds You and Bleeds You

I work in a role that helps people. And truthfully? There are parts of it I love. I get to have real conversations. I feel like I’m making a difference sometimes.

But behind those meaningful moments is a wall of admin work, red tape, and persuasion that sometimes feels like a performance. And on the hard days, I catch myself thinking:

“If our expenses were lower… if we were both earning… if we didn’t have a baby right now…”

I’d walk.

Not because I don’t care. But because deep down, I know I could use my creativity, communication skills, and drive to build something more aligned with who I am. Something that excites me without draining me just to stay afloat.

Sharing ≠ Complaining

Let me be clear:

Talking about the hard stuff doesn’t mean I’m not grateful.

It means I’m human.

It means I’m trying to juggle all the invisible weight — being a first-time parent, an immigrant without nearby family, the provider, the planner, the dreamer — and still show up every day without falling apart.

So no, I won’t smile just to make others comfortable. I won’t silence myself just to seem “positive.” And I won’t confuse toxic positivity with actual strength.

Motivation > Gratitude

What gets me through isn’t “good vibes only.”

It’s logic. It’s strategy. It’s acknowledging, “Yeah, this sucks right now,” and then figuring out how to fix it.

I don’t need to hear “be grateful.”

I need to hear: “You got this.”

I need to feel: motivation. purpose. control.

I’m already grateful — I don’t need to be guilt-tripped into pretending I’m not struggling.

Behind the Smile

Do I keep things to myself? Absolutely.

Not because I’m hiding — but because most people don’t need to know. My problems are mine, and that’s fine. But sometimes, I wish people would understand that behind the smile, behind the calm exterior… is someone doing math in his head every time he opens the fridge.

Let Me Be Both

Yes, I’m grateful.

And yes, I’m overwhelmed.

Yes, I love my life.

And yes, sometimes I want to scream into a pillow.

I don’t need to pick a side.

And neither do you.

So the next time someone tells you to “just be grateful,” feel free to say:

“I am grateful. And I’m also tired. Both can be true.”

Let’s stop romanticizing resilience.

Let’s stop silencing people with sunshine slogans.

And for the love of all struggling immigrants, new parents, and quiet breadwinners out there:

Let’s stop pretending gratitude pays the damn bills.