Spiritual maturity is like a child learning there is no Santa Claus

Spiritual maturity may not be what you believe

Some people believe spiritual maturity means you sang in the choir or served in a church ministry for four or five decades. Maturity indicates growth in an area, and at times, this can be painful. My most recent growing pains are related to marriage and the afterlife.

There are varied belief systems on the subject. The men who flew the planes into the Twin Towers were said to have believed they would have many virgins in the next life.

My views are based on the New Testament in the Bible, specifically Matthew 22:30 and Luke 20:34-36, where Jesus states that there will be no marriage in heaven. I relate my situation to a childhood trauma.

Learning that Santa is not real

Most children who grew up in the 1950s and 1960s believed in Santa Claus. I've encountered adults in recent years who said they never celebrated the December 25 holiday or that their parents were too poor for Santa to visit their home.

One African American woman said her mother told her that a White man in a red suit was not going to give gifts to Black kids. Some people said they did not have a chimney and doubted Santa came through their door.

When the bubble is burst

A majority of Baby Boomers believed what their parents told them and were devastated to learn that it was all a lie. I recall feeling grown up when my grandma told me there was no Easter Bunny. Shortly after, I asked my great-grandmother why there was no bunny on Easter, but there was a Santa.

She informed me that Santa was also made up, and I cried. The TV shows I watched, like Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, brought such joy. Finding out it was all a lie rattled me. My bubble was burst, and it happened again after my husband died in 2021.

So many people spoke of us reuniting in heaven, but Jesus made it clear this will not happen. Think about it. How would a woman or man who has been married more than once decide which spouse to be with in the afterlife?

Imagine someone in heaven waiting on their husband or wife, only to learn they had married again. This was difficult for me to accept because I was with my husband for 45 years, since the age of 17.

Somewhere in Time

No marriage in heaven came back to me with a vengeance when I recently watched the 1980 film Somewhere in Time, starring Christopher Re3eves and Jane Seymore.

When I first watched this decades ago, I cried at the ending when their characters were reunited in death. At that time, I believed my spouse would be together in the afterlife and did not consider those who had been married multiple times.

This time, however, while watching the film, the truth came to mind. I had to be mature spiritually and accept that if I believed the words of Jesus, there would be no reunions of husbands and wives.

I shifted my frustration to Hollywood for making fantasy films not based on the truth of scripture. I don't argue with anyone who says they are looking forward to seeing their late husband or wife when they die.

Accepting what I cannot change

Everyone has the right to believe what they want. If it brings them comfort who am I to burst their bubble or insist my view is the right one? However, I wish someone had explained thsi scripture to me from a young age.

I have heard the marriage vows, "So long as ye both shall live" hundreds of times. I just never processed that death is the end, even though I know those who remarried.

After my husband died, the reality of the words Jesus spoke seemed a cruel and unusual punishment. I've only known him as a romantic partner, but spiritual maturity is assisting me.

We who are on the earth often relate heaven to our lives here. Many say "Happy heavenly birthday" to deceased loved ones, but there are no birthdays in eternity. The date of birth is when you are born, and after you die, that's it.

People say things like "I know he's playing baseball with the angels or singing in the heavenly rock band. Baseball and rock bands are all creations by men on earth, so why would they be in the afterlife?

Accepting difficult truth

As long as I am living, I will love my late spouse and cherish the memories. It's been four and a half years, yet today I cried when I heard "I Just Called to Say I Love You" by Stevie Wonder.

I've heard this several times since my spouse died, but today, in CVS Drug Store, I recalled him singing along with Stevie, and I almost ran out of the store. I composed myself and paid for my purchase, but the memory felt as if he had just died again.

Until I leave this earth, I will have these moments, and I believe when I get to the other side, I won't be longing for anything on this earth, and it will all be alright. Perhaps in the afterlife there will be a different type of love we have for everyone.

Accepting your belief system

Those who believe in what Jesus said in the Bible can accept Him at His word, which at times can be challenging. Or we can hold onto fairy tales, Santa, and other false narratives.

Growing spiritually can be uncomfortable, but I'm trying to take my grandmother's advice of "Swallow your medicine and move on". "It may not taste good, but it's good for you.net

The bottom line is if you have a faith system you should believe in the tenets and not be doubleminded.