!! Quitting !!

I quit my job! I did it, just like i quit smoking in the beginning of this year! It is interesting to write about it, quitting after 30 years of smoking. Maybe next time. Quitting my job is so much harder. I feel like quitting my job, will make me smoke again after all those months!

It is hard to describe the feelings. It is kind of happiness for freedom and the reality of paying my bills! House loan, taxes, life style... I had a good salary! I had a good position! Even “my” car left me! As soon as “my” house will!

Nobody wanted me to quit! Even my Boss, my colleagues, my wife… now i understand that they were seeing the reality while I was happy just with the idea of freedom back then! Am typing those letters and when i think of it, i feel something is tickling my heart! What could be more amazing than having my phone on silent mode! No more phone calls, no more stress, sleeping until i wake up alone… yeah !

I don’t have any idea if i will make it, but i really like it this way! Not to be irresponsible, but to be free!

I see a lot of people around me, suffering to take such a decision. Especially when they get used to do what they did all their life! Maybe they feel that is hard to start again, or they feel that they get old for this! This what happened with me as well. The routine of the job used to bring me all those ideas. I had to deal with them, beside the job and all my responsibilities. That, needed 1kg of energy every morning!!

Feeling safe and secure in a job is the worst fake idea that can someone lies himself about! Let me tell you that no one is safe ! From here i started … and i quit!!

I had colleagues that they paid their life time working for the same company and after so many years they got rid off. They “created” their stability according to their income and all, and in one second everything disappeared. They are lost now. No one is hiring them. In case they get a chance, the offer they receive is very small according to their experience.

This, was a hard reason to take in consideration for my decision!!

Being safe and feeling safe are two different things. I guess i was feeling safe and that what pushed me to quit. I know who i am. What i am capable off. Putting my strong points on the table gave me that feeling. But I wasn’t. I guess i measured how deep is the water with my both legs. It would be better to study my finances and start a business while am still “safe”.

Heading towards 50’s in a couple of years lighted up my brain to work again on my personal matters. Family time, that I barely had along the years. Remembering, that i am the most important person, by taking care of my health, psychically and physically. I forgot how to laugh and to enjoy simple things. The stress ate me slowly. I became a “thing” that I don’t know myself anymore . It is not that beautiful.

This was another hard reason to take in consideration!

I used to pass over the normal program at work. I used to love what i do and still. Until it started to dominate the 24 h program and my off days…Waking up in case of an emergency, transformed to a habit. I started to wake up alone and for no reason between 3 and 4 a.m. ! The lack of sleep affected me, and pushed me for a change.

This was another hard reason to take in consideration!

Many other reasons could support my decision, but one simple thing is enough. I followed my heart without any calculations hoping that the rest will come alone… Sooner or later.