Not Your Average Rant

I told myself I wasn’t going to sit down and write tonight. However, my mind is going chaotically wild, and I can’t stop it. The first strain of thoughts has to do with COVID. I know. I know. “We don’t talk about COVID.”. But why? Have you become so worried about what others think? Or is it because you still believe that it is fake? Or that it is a more aggressive version of the flu? No matter what you think of COVID, why is it that we can’t talk about it? Someone will jump down your throat about what you think about it if we do. Don’t get me started on masks. The amount of dirty looks I receive for wearing one is ridiculous. They don’t know why I wear it, yet they can’t control their expressions. I don’t wear it because I am not vaccinated, and I don’t wear it because I am freshly vaccinated. Quite honestly, I don’t feel like it is anyone’s business.

Am I afraid to get COVID? Unfortunately, yes! I have had it before, and I vividly remember begging to die. I have an autoimmune disease, and I struggle with my immunity. But that can’t be, right? Because I am in my early thirties and I should be healthy? I stay sick longer than an average person because of my immune system. I often avoid sick people because I am scared they will get me sick, and I will have to fight it off harder than they do if they are usually relatively healthy. This means warding off loved ones if I know they are sick or live with someone who is sick. I can’t count on both hands how many times I have missed get-togethers because someone is sick or was recently sick, and I don’t want to get sick or avoid them because they were.

You can’t speak these words into existence because everyone always has something to say. A disrespectful come back that slips off their tongue like honey or the death glares. Do you think I like wearing a mask? Not one bit. I often get pretty winded, and grocery shopping is often cut short, but that doesn’t mean I will remove my mask and risk my life or the lives of my children. This has been fresh on my mind for a few weeks. I see people freely voicing their opinions; however, I know that there will be snappy posts made about people like me as soon as I do by the same people. They won’t tag me, but I know because it isn’t the first time. I don’t know if this is a ramble or a rant or simply my way of voicing how I feel.

Just remember, when talking badly about others that they too have feelings. Just because you disagree with their views, don’t tear them down to make you look or feel better. I don’t care if you get vaccinated or not. That is not any of my concerns. I am not going to tell you that if you don’t you don’t love your family and friends. If you do get vaccinated, I am not going to praise you either because, as I said, it is none of my business. I refuse to tell anyone if I am vaccinated or not because I am one of those sensitive people who take what you say to the heart. I also won’t change who I am to harden my heart against those who can’t grasp the concept of not attacking others. I love the kind-hearted soul I have always been. Through everything I have gone through in my life, I never changed into a bitter, mean person, and I don’t plan on it now.

Originally posted here:

https://simily.co/all-stories/non-fiction/confessionsofsahm/not-your-average-covid-rant/