MY GREATEST FEAR

MY GREATEST FEAR

Actually, my only fear.

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Illogical or not, many people suffer from some sort of phobia. There are also many that do not.

I say suffer because our fears are as real to us as breathing.

I often wonder what it would be like to not be afraid of anything. More than likely, I’ll never know.

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As far back as I can remember, I have always thought I was fearless. As a child, I’d run races with the other kids on the street, determined to win and fully understanding that I may not since most of the other kids were taller than I was – and also boys! I wasn’t afraid. I raced anyway, and yes, all too often lost that race. I say “that” race because there would always be another.

However, in 1960, not too long after my thirteenth birthday, my mom bought my sister a special gift for her sixth birthday.

That’s when my world flopped upside down and things changed dramatically for me. My phobia that lay hidden for all those years, surfaced with a vengeance.

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Let me say here that it isn’t fair to those who have fears to be ridiculed because of them. Whether someone points a finger at us while laughing or derides us behind our backs, it won’t diminish our fears. Some of our phobias might seem ridiculous to others but to us, well, as I said earlier, they’re as real to us as breathing.

My phobia is real and yes, to me it is also ridiculous. I’ll admit it. My phobia is so ridiculous that there is no prefix to label it.

Huh? What did I say?

We have our fear of:

spiders - arachnophobia

heights - acrophobia

tight spaces - claustrophobia

water - aquaphobia

insects - entomophobia

darkness - nyctophobia

storms - astraphobia

And so many more that I can’t and won’t even try to mention here.

And yet, mine doesn’t even rate a prefix. Could I be the only one with this fear? For some reason, I sincerely doubt that but, if they haven’t come up with a name yet, who knows for sure?

So, what is this crazy fear that when surfaces, drains the color from my cheeks, makes my body shake uncontrollable, makes me feel as though I need to vomit, causes me to almost cry like a spanked child?

Magnets! That's right, I said MAGNETS!

Yes, my fear is completely illogical but it's there. Just as real to me as breathing.

At one time, I did a lot of crafting, sometimes, what I was creating required magnets, other times glue. Yikes! Magnets.

Trying to eradicate my fear, I purchased the little round disks. The first time I needed to use them, I had one disk in my right hand and another in my left. I moved my right hand to push an artificial flower out of my way, and WHAM! The magnets were so strong, they (and I am NOT joking) pulled my hands together.

Holy mother of gasping for air.

I lost my breath, began shaking, started crying, and almost fainted. I screamed for my husband. I was so traumatized that my brain would not allow me to think to pull my hands apart.

My husband separated my hands, retrieved the magnetic disks, and put them in separate aluminum cups.

While I still have my magnets, taking my husband's suggestion, I now store them separately in aluminum cups and won't touch two at the same time. If I find a need to two, I will usually call my husband and if he's not available, my friend and ask her to help me. She doesn't understand my phobia but accepts the fact that it's part of my life.

I've gone so far as to mention this fear to my doctor. No, he didn't suggest a psychiatrist. He just shook his head and said he'd never heard of anyone being afraid of magnets and suggested I do my best not to handle them.

My most irrational thing I've done because of this fear is to give up a good portion of that part of my crafting. I now concentrate on my writing and photography which requires only glue or tape. However, should I need to handle a magnet or two, I use one at a time or "call a friend".