Look like the flower

Restaurants are truly such an interesting place to be. There is so much more going on than what meets the eye. It can be more than where a person goes to earn money to make a living. Yes, it's a job, but in my 15 years in the food service industry it has been so much more than that. I've learned lessons, partied my ass off, made mistakes, made lots of money, made lots of friends, maybe even some enemies I don't know about. I've learned lots of skills, good and bad. How to be patient, forgiving, humble, assertive. How to be manipulative, how to be fake , how to read people, how to get what I want. How to look like the flower, but be the serpent under it.

It sounds crazy, how could a job at a restaurant get that intense. The politics of working in the industry are like a rabbit hole. They just get deeper and darker. It's not so evil as it sounds, but it can be a master manipulation game. There are good guys and bad guys. People with nothing but good and honest intentions. People who only care about the money, just stay out of their way, that's all they care about. People who are there for the fun of it mostly, maybe they need a little extra cash, but don't have any real bills. People who struggle to make ends meet for their families and or for themselves, those people work their asses off. College or high school students. The list goes on and on.

For me, it all started as a high school student, who just wanted a job to have my own money. I had never had a job before so I really didn't have any kind of expectations. My friend Nikki had gotten a job at a local drive up diner. She mentioned they were hiring , I interviewed and got the job. I was so nervous, a young 15 year old high school girl, and I was a little shy. After a week or so of training, I got out there on my own. It was time to start making money. I became addicted to the fast cash quickly. It was a thrill. I walked away every shift with almost $100 in tips a shift, plus I was getting paid $5 an hour. That was really good money, especially being 15. I was buying my friends school lunches, getting my nails done, whatever I wanted to do with my money I did. Plus I started being around older girls , hearing their conversations. The parties they went to , the guys they were dating. It was truly something I had never experienced before. I was pretty sheltered growing up, so I felt like I was living this secret double life when I was at work.

That's how I first started learning how to "look like the flower."

I didn't want my parents to know some of the things that really went down there. The smoking, the drinking, the stories I was hearing. Listening to the older girls, learning how to get away with things I shouldn't have been doing. I didn't even want my parents to know the extent of the tips I was making. I didn't want them lecturing me on how I should be saving it. II n wanted to continue to be around those older girls. Hear their stories. Continue living my secret double life that was actually thrilling and exciting. Not vanilla and boring. I never knew then how sucked in I would become. The things I would do and learn.

I never knew it would lead to fifteen more years of partying, scandal, fast cash. I never thought I'd be here now looking back on all of it now.