It could have been you

1.

You did this to drive me insane didn’t you? What really changed from Tuesday til now and if you do miss me why can’t we ever be friends? Come on Jason if we’re never going to speak again at least be real with me for once bc either you’re lying to me tonight about your feelings or you’ve lied to me from the start bc let’s be honest you weren’t just procrastinating and sleeping all the times you left me waiting and if you hate me so much now just tell me what we’re you really doing all those times or why did you break up with me every weekend and never let me go help you in Oviedo and why was I a huge secret that never got to meet your friends? Oh and why when you made a Grindr this last time why did you not show up I’m the fresh section when you added pics like you should have??? Come on we both know you weren’t a perfect boyfriend either stop lying to yourself and me and just tell me the truth.

2.

I can’t believe how heartless you are I really really wish I never met you should’ve just gone to New York that day instead of waiting for you to come over shit packed up and left the first time you left me waiting for the first time you got mad that I glanced at your phone and asked about it just because I was curious about who you were all the signs were there but you made me believed you really loved me at least for a moment but when I went looking for the truth I found your trap in the form of your friend was trying to get me to cheat on you and because you had made me feel so unwanted and so alone and he made me feel good about myself I did what I did I’m not proud of it but if you actually had loved me he would actually cared and wanted to be with me it never would have happened because I never would’ve gone on Grindr looking to see if you were on there because that’s the only reason I’ve ever been on Grindr with because I wanted to know why you were so adamant at first about me not being on there so I was on there looking for you but on that day someone made me feel good someone made me feel wanted because you didn’t you didn’t care and I had a moment of weakness but if you had cared if you would actually love to be I wouldn’t even been there for it to happen but you were on Grindr two weren’t you the only explanation for why you were Grindr didn’t show up in the fresh section after we broke up.

3.

Spoiled rotten bitch can’t handle the truth gotta press the block button whenever shit gets real. I’m the realest mother fucker you ever met and that’s why you don’t want to talk to me bc I won’t let you look passed your faults and you are incapable of admitting where you went wrong bc that would mean facing the facts and realizing how shitty you were to me when all I wanted was to feel like you cared all I wanted was to be loved and appreciated, all this fighting and all the trouble just because you can’t see the simple solution. Worst part is you did it at first and in very very rare moments but all I needed was for you to continue to do those simple things that made me feel loved but for some reason those small little things became impossible for you to do. Do you not remember how happy I was the day you pulled me off the bench to dance with me in kitchen or the way I melted when you randomly walked up behind me and out your arms around me? Those are the things I was fighting for those moments but you stopped doing those things acted like I was asking you to do something extra but those are the exact things I kept asking for and the more I asked the less you did until you were never around except to smoke and argue about how you made me feel by not doing those things.