I wish I said it before

I’ve carried something with me for so long that I need to finally get it off my chest, even if it never reaches you. Our story started in high school, a time when everything seemed intense and confusing, and you became a crucial part of my life. The truth is, there’s a lot I never told you, and it’s time I let it out.

I remember our time together in class so vividly. We used to sit close to each other, often brushing shoulders, and those moments felt like a small escape from the chaos around us. Your presence was a refuge from everything else going on. It wasn’t just about being near you physically; it was about the comfort you brought to my life. In a world filled with uncertainty and change, you were a steady, calming influence.

One particular day stands out in my memory. I was dealing with a storm of emotions, problems that had nothing to do with you but felt overwhelming. I was crying, unable to hold back my tears. I remember resting my head on your shoulder, seeking solace in your presence. You didn’t ask questions or try to fix things; you just held me, and that meant more to me than I can put into words. Your ability to offer comfort without needing to know the details of my distress was a source of incredible support. That moment wasn’t just physical; it was deeply emotional. Your warmth and understanding made me feel safe, even when everything else felt like it was falling apart.

Over time, my feelings for you grew deeper than friendship. I developed romantic feelings that I didn’t know how to handle. I was scared to tell you, afraid that my confession might change our friendship or make things awkward. I worried that if you didn’t feel the same way, it might create a rift between us. The fear of losing you as a friend was too great, so I kept my feelings hidden. I often wondered if you could sense how I felt or if you ever suspected that there was more to my affection than just friendship. Maybe you did, or maybe I was projecting my feelings and hoping for something more.

There were moments when I almost confessed, when it seemed like the right time to share how I felt. But every time I tried to gather the courage, I hesitated. I was afraid of the potential consequences, of how it might change everything between us. I didn’t want to risk losing the comfort and connection we had, even if it meant hiding my true feelings. I often thought about what might have happened if I had been braver, if I had taken the risk to be honest with you.

Now that time has passed and we still talk, I can’t help but feel that there might still be a spark between us. Despite everything that has changed, there’s a part of me that believes there’s a possibility that if we both tried, we could rekindle what we once had. It might be a wishful thought or a longing for what could have been, but it’s something that lingers in my mind. The idea that we might still have a chance to explore what could be is both exciting and terrifying.

I’m writing this letter not just to confess my feelings but also to express my gratitude for everything you’ve done for me. Your presence during those formative years was a source of comfort and strength. I want you to know how much I’ve valued our time together and how deeply you’ve impacted my life. Even if nothing comes of this confession, I needed to be honest about how I feel. I hope you understand that this letter is my way of acknowledging the depth of my emotions and the significance of our connection.

Thank you for being there for me, for offering support and kindness without expecting anything in return. I appreciate every moment we’ve shared, every laugh, and every conversation. Your friendship has meant more to me than I ever had the courage to express. I’m letting go of the regret and what-ifs, and I’m embracing the truth of my feelings. Whether or not there’s a chance for us to explore what might be, I needed you to know how much you’ve meant to me and how much I’ve cherished every moment we’ve had together.

And even though this confession might never reach you, you know what will? My love, forever and always.