How I Survived Social Anxiety

Let me take you back to a moment I’ll never forget. I was at a work event, standing in a circle of coworkers, nodding along to a conversation I wasn’t even following. Someone asked me a question, and my brain buffered! I stammered something incoherent, felt my face turn the color of a fire hydrant, and promptly made an excuse to leave.

That night, I Googled “how to stop being awkward” (because, let’s be real, that’s what it felt like). What I found wasn’t a magic cure but a toolkit of strategies that, over time, helped me turn down the volume on my anxiety. Here’s the story of how I went from “I’d rather vanish into the void” to “Hey, I kinda got this.” Spoiler: It wasn’t magic—it was a mix of science, stubbornness, and a whole lot of awkward practice.

The Day I Realized I Needed a Game Plan

It all started at that work event. I was standing there, clutching a drink I didn’t even like, while my brain screamed, “ABORT MISSION!” My palms were sweating like I was holding an ice cube, my heart was racing like it was training for the Anxiety Olympics, and - oh look!- my face now matched the color of the punch bowl.

I felt like everyone was staring at me, judging me, wondering why I was so awkward. They probably weren’t, but at that moment, it felt like the entire room was dissecting my every move.

That night, I decided enough was enough. I was tired of feeling like a walking cringe compilation. I wanted to enjoy social situations, not dread them. So, I dove headfirst into research, trying every trick, tip, and hack I could find. Some worked, some didn’t, but over time, I started to see progress. Here’s what I learned along the way.

First, I Learned to Unclench (Literally)

Turns out, your body can’t be both a tightly wound spring and a relaxed puddle of calm at the very same time. Who knew? So, I started practicing something called progressive muscle relaxation. It’s a fancy term for “squeeze and release like you’re a human stress ball.”

So this means you start with your toes, scrunching them up as tightly as you can. Hold for 5 seconds… then release. Ah, instant toe Zen. Next, move up to your calves, thighs, and yes, even your glutes—clenching those cheeks like you’re sitting on a winning lottery ticket. By the time you get to your face , you will feel limper than a noodle in a hot tub. Doing this daily helps to train your body to chill out, even when your brain is screaming, “PANIC!”

Pro tip: Pair it with your favorite playlist, and suddenly you’ve got a spa day and a dance party.

Then, I Stole a Spy’s Breathing Technique

When anxiety hits, your breathing goes into full panic mode—like a caffeinated squirrel on a treadmill. I learned to outsmart it by pretending I was a suave secret agent casually sipping espresso while defusing a bomb. Breathe in through your nose for four seconds (smell that imaginary latte?), hold for four (channel your inner Zen monk), then exhale for six (like you’re blowing out birthday candles).

Why does this work? Shallow breathing tricks your brain into thinking you’re being chased by a bear named Awkward Silence. Slow breaths? They’re like a gentle pat on the brain’s shoulder, whispering, “Hey, we’re cool. No bears here.” You’ll still feel the jitters, but now you’re the director—not the audience—of your own anxiety show.

I Built a Mental Escape Room (And Threw Away the Key)

Sometimes, you just need to “nope” out of a situation—mentally, at least. That’s where visualization comes in. Close your eyes and imagine a place where you felt 100% safe. For me, it’s my grandma’s kitchen, where the smell of cookies and the sound of her laugh made everything feel okay.

The trick is to make it real. Smell the cookies, hear the laughter, feel the warmth. The goal? Practice until you can teleport there faster than someone can say, “Let’s do icebreakers!” Bonus points if you add a mental force field to keep out Karen’s unsolicited opinions.

I Put My Brain on Trial

Social anxiety loves to hiss, “Everyone’s staring at your weird existence.” Newsflash: Your brain is basically that one friend who texts “We need to talk” and then says, “Never mind, it’s fine.” Time to play courtroom drama.

• Me (as judge): “The prosecution claims Karen hates my presentation. Evidence?”
• Brain (dramatic lawyer): “She glanced at her phone!”
• Me: “Or… her cat’s Instagram posted a new reel? Case closed.

Truth is, most people aren’t judging you—they’re too busy worrying about their own, well, everything. Your thoughts? They’re just overzealous spam filters. Delete the junk mail, keep the receipts.

Finally, I Befriended the Anxiety Gremlin!

Avoiding scary stuff is like handing your anxiety a bag of growth hormones. So, I started facing it—tiny step by tiny step. I’d compliment a stranger’s funky socks, ask the grocery clerk how their day was going, or survive a Zoom call without hiding behind a virtual potted plant.

Will it feel awkward? Oh, absolutely. The first time I tried this, I told a cashier, “Have a great day!” as I walked *into* the store. Cue internal screaming. But guess what? The world kept spinning. Each tiny win made the anxiety gremlin shrink—like a sweater in the dryer.

You’re Not Broken—You’re Practicing

Social anxiety isn’t a life sentence. It’s more like a clingy roommate who really needs a hobby. Celebrate the small stuff: Did you stay at the party for 10 minutes? Gold star! Did you breathe through a panic attack? Standing ovation! Progress isn’t a straight line—it’s a chaotic doodle, and that’s okay.

And hey, if all else fails? Blame your shaky hands on “too much coffee” and roll with it. You’re not here to be perfect. You’re here to be you—awkwardness, quirks, and all.

Social anxiety might crash the party, but these tricks help you steal back the aux cord. Remember: You’re not alone, and awkwardness is just confetti for the soul.

THANK YOU FOR READING!