Good-Bye my Therapist

Therapy is overrated.

Let me explain. My therapist quit. In the middle of some absolute crap going on in my life, my therapist sent me an email saying that, due to personal reasons, she could not continue taking appointments. She referred me to a new therapist. At that moment, I felt quite a few emotions, and these washed over me promptly. Tears sprang to my eyes as I realized the woman I had been chatting with every week for 18 weeks for around 45 minutes a week, would no longer be in my life. It felt like losing a friend, and though that was not exactly what the relationship was, I still was sad.

It occurred to me that she might need her therapist, and I hope she found one as great as her. Because when I realized this person I had rapport with was not the one I would continue the adventure with, she had already done me such an excellent service. At that moment, I could sense my emotions, allow them to wash over, and then move on. Months ago, that would have spiraled me into regrettable choices and many shopping bills, retail therapy, and such.

When I reread her email, I knew my therapy sessions were over. She had effectively given me every tool I would need (at least for now) to moderate my emotions and deal with my life. I was reeling from some of the events, but I had great relationships that I was fostering that I could use as sounding boards, not to mention myself to trust in the process.

So, yes, I felt like I lost a friend. I sent her my best wishes and hope for her, nothing but the best. If I never see my therapist again, I will be changed by her help. Though part of me also knows I may never see her again. This person who knows me better than any friend is out there with knowledge of my life. I sometimes wonder if she thinks of me as I do of her; such a surreal feeling. Human communication is so fascinating to me. We are such social creatures. We can use words to hurt, build alliances, and support each other. We use words to create stories and strengthen relationships or tear them apart. Words are our best assets.

I learned a lot about myself during that period. I had grown in my skin and saw how much I didn't know. The idea that really changed my life is the ability to stop and understand what I am feeling and why in a moment of heat. During an argument with my husband, I was so hurt and upset, and somehow it felt like the time had stopped, and I was talking to myself, almost recording scratch. I was talking to myself, dissecting the problem, and even empathizing with my husband despite totally thinking he was wrong. (As most husbands are.) The nice thing is that my husband had undergone his therapy session for the last six months and could communicate even more effectively than I did. So there angry and hurt, but suddenly we were stating our cases and listening to each other. The sensation was odd, to say the least, but that skill was terrific to have. I have been using it a lot during our first months of marriage, which apparently is normal, but I am so glad I have those tools to fall back on.

If you have been contemplating getting a therapist, this is that push to reach out and get one. The process is mind-blowing and life-altering. I am more prepared for life than before, and I will be able to handle the things that come at me even better. It can be scary to take that first step, but it's one small step for you, and in the end, it will be worth it.