From Office Chair to Cafe Chair

After 18 years on various office chairs, I am out of work on choice, spending time at cafe chairs, testing what life could be out of corporate life and in a zone with more free time to find my new callings, my “ikigai” that would hopefully start generating money.

To tell you the truth, it is pretty amazing. It has been two months, I tested all the local cafe’s atmospheres; where to work, where to network, where to get the most inspired writing done, where to just get bored and scroll and listen to other people’s chats.

There is a new kind of Monday syndrome that comes with unemployment after so long. Every Sunday night, I check my calendar out of habit - which is at the emptiest it has been after almost 2 decades. It is only filled with daily Pilates sessions, mild tasks that vary from the doctor's appointments I had been postponing due to a wild work schedule and kids' stuff like getting them costumes for Halloween to extracurricular activities that I was never able to take them to. What a freedom, what a relief, what a luxury I always thought as a hassle “amongst the very important things going on at work”. So, when everyone is settled to begin their Monday rituals- school, work etc., I feel aimless. But I choose to make the effort on choosing what to wear, which cafe to go to, what kind of writing or job search or shopping or just wandering around or reading I will be doing, planning my empty week to give it a purpose. Not going to lie, having a bit of financial comfort makes it smoother, but not sustainable.

I get to choose and enjoy these luxurious hassles. Choosing how my day is going to be shaped.

So the freedom, joined with a sprinkle of syndrome’ comes with a lot of back planning to not make it feel like I lack purpose. I have to plan something meaningful for each day. A “task of the day” to not feel like it is a wasted day.

Knowing that I will be back to working, albeit unknow doing what, gives me a sense of security to loom freely. I know I will work. I know I will make money. I know I just need time to figure out the (huge tiny) details of it all.

Transitioning from an office chair to a cafe chair, from high heels to sneakers, make up to plain face, work pants to jeans. Small bag to bigger bag. Million phone calls a day to two per day maximum. Managing the young family and a team of 10 & tending to 200 employees to only focusing of the family of four. Running errands in the fastest most panic mood to a relaxed version, taking time, exploring options. Going to the gym already exhausted, often ready to skip that day's session to happily running to the gym 3 times a week. Who is this person?

Ditching the corporate self (high heels on! hair put together! accessories that match the day’s uniform! Make up on!) I acquired for myself over the years was a challenge, but I feel like the detox did me good. Hello new self.

There is always a difference between who you are during working hours and out of working hours. You are a different person in each context – at work, with friends, with family, at the gym, in the car... I believe that even the face changes. Different muscles working in each context gives you a different look. Getting to know myself out of my work uniforms-facial expressions-state of mind-bigger bag with all the essentials I need to carry around with me since I no longer have an office drawer has been very enlightening. But was quite the shock at the beginning.

I now know that my brain does work without my 12 cm heels on.

I now know I can actually do mental work when I don’t have to be in a fixed setting between certain hours.

I now know I can handle the day with a more controlled amount of coffee and more clean air outside.

My Sunday evening and Monday morning syndromes are completely different now. I lack purpose, I lack aim, I have no need to micro-manage my time which is a blessing and a curse at the same time. You know how the saying goes “it’s not Mondays that suck, it’s your job”. Although I loved my job, I loved my Company, I do have to admit that I loved the corporate settings; I feel like being ready to move on is very thrilling and scary at the same time.

Meeting a new kind of syndrome was traumatic to begin with but embracing it has been fun. Learning along the way is priceless.

Challenge is extraordinary. Feeling useless is extraordinary. Moving from the comfort of swinging cushy office chair only belonging to my ass to a cafe chair with other people’s ass shapes engraved into it is weird. Not picking which high heels to wear is kind of sad, I loved those uncomfortable pieces of capitalist symbols, but the freedom to choose not to wear them puts a smile on my fat feet’s face.

Syndrome is good, if you’re not doing it wrong.