FEELINGS OF IMPENDING DOOM!

What is the best story to tell? If not a story that you know so well. Hence I’m going to tell you a story about the feelings of impending doom.

That niggling feeling of a much anticipated dread. One that you wish would not happen, but you are almost certain that the future holds nothing but undeniable calamity. At first it seems like it is fear, because your visions of the future are so scary. Your imaginations running wild. Painting vivid pictures of untold horrors in your solitary mind.

Soon enough, you will realize that it is not real, because it has not yet happened. There is nothing to fear, yet. But the consciousness of the dread still lingers. The sneak-peak into your imagined future keeps playing over and over in your head.

The guilt of what you know. The secret that you wish would forever remain hidden. The evidence that you want to be permanently destroyed.

You realize that it is all in your head, but still you just cannot shake the feelings of impending doom.

I do not think that anyone can really describe what it feels like, in a tangible, kind of hands on way. In a way simple enough that even a child could understand. But on the rare occasions when I get to experience the feelings of impending doom, it is mostly because of something that I had done wrong. Something that I am trying to hide because I do not want people to discover it. Something that I am guilty of, but which I would prefer not to be punished for. Something that implicates me and consequences of which can be terribly devastating.

The feelings of impending doom are dark. They start just like the coming of the night time, when the sun slowly fades away from the sky and the earth is covered in darkness.

You start by wondering about everything that could possibly go wrong. Imagining things that are not real, based off of what you know. Things that will send your mind spiraling into bouts of untold worries and a desperation to try to prevent these imaginations from manifesting into reality.

Other times, the feelings of impending doom can sneak up on you, because of something you read about, or something that you were told. Like the increment of utility bills and the prices of products, especially when your revenue can barely even afford to sustain your expenses, and your debts, like the fists of a very muscled man, are around your neck, trying to choke you until you suffocated.

Like the news of military invasion and wars, or the numerous acts of terror and gross inhumanity to man perpetrated every day by people all around the world. Like when your lover calls you in the middle of the night, and starts the conversation by saying “we need to talk”. Or the voice of your boss screaming out your name from across the hall.

The feelings of impending doom are terrifying and crippling, and most times, there is nothing that can be done about it, except to accept the reality of the situation and let it play out till it’s eventual end, because try as you might, there is no way of knowing what will happen in the future and your imaginations are just as good as guesses or predictions, and might even be compared to short stories of fiction.

The feelings of impending doom sometimes can be prophetic and might even help in averting a terrible calamity, but most times than not, they are just the jumbled imaginations of a worry troubled mind.