Do I Know You?

It's the face.

I don't know if you can tell from photos but I have one of "those" faces. It's not about being "pretty" or something like that. I'm attractive enough for all practical purposes. It's something else. I’m somehow familiar. Because before I even open my mouth my FACE seems to tell people "Go ahead. You know me. I see you. Tell me. Tell me everything. I'm interested. I actually care. If you tell me maybe I can help." I'm a talker too. Sometimes that hides that I'm also a listener. But maybe the talking helps them feel that they are safe to talk too? In any case if that's the message they get from my face, to just TELL me, they aren't wrong. In my heart I find the human experience infinitely fascinating. But it's not just in my heart. It seems to also be written on my FACE.

I've wondered if it isn't hereditary in some way…something about the bone structure maybe? My mother AND my grandmother both had it too. My grandmother in her 80's took my sister on a cruise to Europe as a college graduation present. A big cruise on a BIG ship. We got cards for YEARS addressed to "Mama Memphis". Seems she developed quite a fan club. My grandma's FACE seemed to say "Come sit by me…We will sit a spell and just enjoy life. Have a chat. It's not all so serious is it?"

My mother decided early on that once there was the money if Dad could have someone to mow the lawn that she could have someone to help with the housework. But we could never keep anyone for very long. My mother…after they told her their stories…would find them a better job. Over my childhood she lent money…cosigned on cars…paid for college classes. Trust me when I say she was NOT a soft touch. It's just after hearing their stories she knew they could do better. Her FACE said "I believe in YOU and I know you can do it. Let's make a plan!" One of my favorites, Mary Lopez, I heard just retired from her job as the Head of Senior Services in the town I grew up in. That dream found it's way in part because my mother's face said "Tell me who you REALLY are?"

It had started long before but it was a friend in college who finally tried to define it. Dee said to me once after finding me in conversation with someone on a street corner "I think your goal in life is to meet EVERYONE on EARTH at least once". Well…mea culpa!!! It's not my fault. I swear it's the FACE. You don't have to know me very long to figure out that if you are in a hurry you better keep on eye on me. Left alone for 5-25 minutes it's not strange to come back to find me in conversation with a stranger. It's almost embarrassing…caught in the heart to heart with the waitress or the tow truck driver or the city councilman or the professional athlete…the question "Did you know that person?" Well…I guess do now.

And that brings us to the other interesting phenomena…how SMALL a world it seems it really is…I had another friend…a friend for decades…who was at work one year. Karen, a woman she had worked with for at least 3 or 4 years asked her "Do you have any plans for New Years Eve?" Liz said, "Not really. But I'm going out with my friend Christy. It really doesn't matter where we go. Because wherever we go she's going to know 5 people. We were out one night and I said "Don't look behind you but standing back there is the handsomest man I've ever seen." Of course she looked. And said "Hey Marv!! What are you doing here?" Of course. She knew him!" Liz says, "I even thought of making t-shirts or bumper stickers. "Honk if you know Christy House". And "I've known Christy for 1 year, 2 years, 10 years" Karen then says to her "Wait, Christy House? Not Christy House from LaHabra?" Turns out Karen had been the roommate of one of my best friends in High School. I'd lived with them one summer. Back when the Kevin Bacon game started I had to laugh. I had a friend in the 80's who answered his fan mail. That makes it one degree right?

My Grandmother Emma and my Mother Betty have gone from this world. Their faces are just a memory. Though as I age they look back at me in the mirror as I see them in my reflection. Now I look at my offspring. We favor each other. And as I wait in the car while they are in conversation with someone I'm not annoyed. Cal is a wonderful human being but I know that's not the only reason the person stopped them to talk. I get it.

It's the face.