Did I do the right thing?

Hey everyone — I’ve been lurking here forever, and never thought I’d have something worth posting, but this happened a few months ago and it still gives me goosebumps when I think about it.

For context: I (26F) live in a decent-sized city, not huge but not tiny either. I'm single, live alone, and like a lot of people, I occasionally use dating apps. Back in February, I matched with this guy—I'll call him "Evan." He seemed normal. He was a little older (32), worked in IT, had a dog, and we bonded over both being into horror movies and oat milk lattes. Cute, right?

We messaged for about a week before meeting for a coffee date. It was… fine. Not amazing, not terrible. He was a little intense—kept very direct eye contact, asked kinda personal questions—but nothing that immediately screamed red flag. I just wasn’t feeling it romantically.

Afterward, I texted him politely saying I didn’t feel a strong connection and wished him the best. He responded with a simple: “Totally understand. Take care :)”

Cool. Adult stuff. I moved on.

But then, a week later, I saw him.

I was at the dog park with my friend (I don’t have a dog, I was just tagging along), and Evan was there. Alone. Sitting on a bench with coffee. He wasn’t looking at his phone or playing with a dog. Just… watching. He didn’t say anything, and I didn’t go over. I wasn’t even 100% sure it was him, so I brushed it off.

A few days later, I saw him again. At my gym. Which freaked me out because I don’t go to a chain—mine is a small, locally owned place kind of tucked away. I’d never seen him there before. Again, no interaction, just… noticed him a few machines over, doing leg presses and glancing in my direction every few minutes.

At this point, my gut started whispering. I told a couple friends, shared his profile just in case, but still tried to convince myself I was being paranoid, but then it got worse.

I saw him a third time — outside the bookstore near my apartment. Just standing near the entrance, pretending to look at his phone. I walked right past him, heart pounding, and he didn’t say anything… but he looked directly at me. Like he knew I’d be there.

That night, I couldn’t sleep. I ended up staying up and watching TV in my living room until like 2 AM. Around 2:30, I got up to get water, and something told me to look out the peephole of my front door.

He was standing on the sidewalk across the street. No phone. No dog. No reason. Just standing there, facing my building. My apartment is on the third floor but I could tell it was him. I don’t even know how long he’d been there.

I called the non-emergency line and explained everything. They sent a patrol car, and of course, by the time they got there, he was gone. But I filed a report. I showed them the Tinder messages, his profile, everything.

I didn’t hear or see anything for a couple weeks and thought maybe that was the end of it.

A few days later I had gotten word from a few friends that he'd been arrested for stalking, but not just to me. I still feel like im kind of overreacting and have just gotten someone arrested for someone maybe, not so serious?

comments

if he got arrested for stalking it had to have been more people than just you, you probably just helped with your tips