Dear Mommy

Dear Mommy,

I officially came into this world a little over three weeks after your twenty-sixth birthday. You had to care for me all alone because the other half of my DNA disappeared around my fourth month of development. It seemed things got worse after that and I was not an easy baby. We laugh about it now but I would like to Apologize for those years. For waking up just as the sun started to peak over the horizon. For doing nothing but barely eat. Sleep, cry and fill my diaper. I rolled down a tiny hill into a small river causing you to panic even though it wasn’t deep enough to hurt me and I landed on my back. I covered the lower quarter of the kitchen with a tiny bowl of spaghetti including myself and I’d like to thank you for dealing with that.

I lost you when I was five. I know now what happened but I’m not sure if I told you this before so I’m telling you now. I was never mad at you. I never hated you and I never believed the lies my step family told me at the time. After a while of hearing those I remember thinking. Who cares if she’s crazy, or So what if she’s mentaly sick. She’s my mommy, She still loves me. Then on the day that you stopped visiting. They tried to use that as proof but I knew they were wrong. I knew there had to be a reason and I remember sitting there watching the driveway hoping you would come and hoping you were ok.

I was never mad at you for leaving me with that family. I remember in the worst moments I would wonder why at least for the first few years but I never blamed you for how they treated me. I knew one day I would see you again and after a few years I was determined to find any way I could to reunite us even though I had no Idea how. With that being said I did try to find out as much about you as I could. Everytime I would come across someone with a chance of knowing you I would ask. I have no idea what they said but I tried.

The day we were reunited was confusing. I didn’t truly understand what was happening. I was happy to see you but I don’t think I cried because again I remember being confused. I knew I was living with you now but I guess it didn’t truly sink in until I realized I was never going to see my baby brother again. That I remember crying over. I want you to know I also don’t blame you and I’m not mad at you for being separated from my brother. When I lost you I didn’t know who’s fault it was but I knew it wasn’t you but for losing my brother I knew it was the other half of his DNA that separated us. I hated him for it.

After that day life continued to be hard. Simply because it was us getting use to each other again after being gone for so long and you fixing what that family broke or at least mending it as best you could. The last eleven years have been hard but I'm not mad and Don’t hate you for any of it. You had struggles aside from helping me that made things so much harder. Did I get mad? Did I get Frustrated? Maybe even a little jealous of certain things or people? Yes but what child doesn’t? I love you and I don’t hate you.

You have done so much for me, fought for me and with me in order to help me. You made sure I didn’t give up on life and still do so because occasionally I slip. Our relationship is strong now. I am, as we always joke about your little clone. I thank you and love you so much. You deal with a lot even now since I still feel like your most troublesome child which is saying something since you have five of them.

I am sorry I don’t say this enough. Thank you and I love you.

Love your crazy little kitten.