Dear mom,

Dear mom, I always wanted to be just like you went I was little, like when you taught me how defend myself at a young age, because you had to teach your own self for being in a very tough area, the projects.

Even though you mentioned you didn’t have a lot of things while growing up, walking to school was dangerous for you in a young age. You then taught me how to watch my surroundings, and how to be careful of strangers and how they could be, You said that,(some could be nice and some are not.)

And even though I hadn’t grew up in a tough area, but went I was getting bullied a lot, I surely did what you taught me, but… it never went as planned… I’ve gotten hurted just by retaliating back at them. it never helped, until I find out that it never will.

but I kept on trying anyway, just for you. But then in my 20s I found out I supposed to be doing things for myself and Myself only. Not to do things for people that are not caring or concerning because I wanted to be strong like you, but not a rebellious, criminalistic or bulling like way, i will never do any cruelty to any human being out there.

But to stand up to myself from what I been though. I’ve know you’ve been hurt more than me you say more bad things than i have been through then why hurt me cause what they did to you and the peer pressure you been in.

I know Losing dad, losing the house, family rejecting me and us, it was just me and you and nothing else. And sometimes, your toxic family even gets in the way of things, it always bother me to the point of passivity. And I can’t continue to live in a place with somebody that’s going to take up for the wrong people that are not on our side whatsoever.

And all this is because we lived in the south suburbs, while they lived in the inner city. That is not our fault or mine, but we both saw our faults by working with there Trifling needs. Well I’ve seen it.

That’s just not me. if they didn’t do any good motivation for us, that would made both of us happy, then to separating us, and spreading lies on both of us; So, now came to my conclusion.

that to…but now that I’m 23, I realize that I don’t need them nor no one else, I don’t need that in my life if I’m going to be happy.

If your going to cling around people that are not considered us as family; and not even your sister, for you to help me, and be with me, I would rather be by myself, than being with you on that. someone you tend to give your trust on is them….And never me.

Why? Do you think I’m not smart enough what is it? I put my trust in you Always, never telling no one anything. But you know what? I don’t care about that anymore. but it’s now time to do things that is my way, and what is right for me.

That’s not how things work in life and you need to be yourself to work at it. (as I thought and learned that long and hard to myself as well.) I hope you can find out the right path to go within your heart.

And as for me I’m going try to go my very OWN path and find happiness there. What you taught me is With being life itself. I was afraid to tell you this before, but I’m doing ME now.

but it’s all in the past, but what I do is what I will do for myself now and only. So from now on, I’m being me, and so my confession is, to start following my own path now.

LOVE YOU MOM!❤️

P.s. I know you love owls so I gave you one up to hopefully you’ll see this in the future.~👆🏽🤣

Love, Ashley 💜