🖤 Dating Feels Like a Second Job Now - And We’re All Tired

I’m not looking for love. I’m just trying not to get hurt again.

That’s what my friend told me after her sixth Hinge date in a month ended in confusion and a text that read, “You’re amazing, but I’m not ready for anything serious.”

Sound familiar?

If you’re in your 20s or early 30s and actively dating, chances are you’ve felt it too - the exhaustion, the detachment, the weird emotional numbness that follows a streak of almosts.

We’re not heartless.

We’re just tired.

The New Rules of Modern Dating (That No One Agreed To)

Once upon a time, dating meant flirting, dinners, and butterflies. Now?

It means swiping until your thumb aches, pretending you’re okay with casual when you're craving connection, and decoding texts like they’re ancient prophecies.

We’ve all read the unspoken rules:

• Don’t double-text.
• Don’t care more.
• Be chill.
• Never actually ask what we are.

Gen Z didn’t break love - we just inherited it in a digitally diluted, emotionally unavailable, commitment-phobic form.

Why Are We So Emotionally Burnt Out?

1. Choice overload.

There are too many options and not enough effort. We’ve gamified romance and turned potential soulmates into profiles we judge in 0.5 seconds.

2. Emotional unavailability disguised as freedom.

“Let’s see where this goes” is the new way of saying I want connection without responsibility. And we’re afraid to admit we want more.

3. Ghosting, bread-crumbing, and love bombing.

These aren’t just dating trends - they’re emotional warfare. No wonder we’re walking around with walls sky-high.

4. Hyper-independence is killing vulnerability.

We’re healing from trauma, chasing careers, and learning to love ourselves. But somewhere in the mix, we forgot how to let someone in.

The Rise of the Situationship Generation

Ask any Gen Z’er if they’re dating, and chances are the answer sounds like:

“It’s… complicated.”

We’re stuck in this grey area where things feel real, but aren’t defined. We're afraid to label, because labels bring expectations, and expectations bring risk.

But here’s the truth:

Being casual doesn’t protect you from heartbreak. It just makes the heartbreak harder to explain.

We Still Want Love. We’re Just Scared to Want It.

We joke about being dead inside.

We laugh off ghosting.

We convince ourselves we don’t care.

But deep down, we want something real. We want safe spaces to be soft. We want to be chosen without having to compete. We want to be seen - beyond the filter, the swipe, and the performance.

And that’s not embarrassing.

It’s brave.

So What Do We Do Now?

Maybe it’s not about quitting dating apps or giving up altogether.

Maybe it’s about reclaiming our right to be intentional, vulnerable, and yes - romantic.

🖤 Start saying what you mean.

🖤 Set boundaries and standards.

🖤 Stop settling for someone who’s unsure about you.

🖤 And most importantly, stop treating love like a side quest.

We’re Not Too Much. We’re Just Tired of Not Being Enough for the Wrong People.

If dating feels like a second job, you’re not crazy - it kind of is.

But love shouldn’t feel like work all the time. It should feel like rest, too. Safety. Home.

So here’s a thought:

What if we stopped playing the game and started creating connections that actually feed us?

💬 Let’s talk about it in the comments:

Have you felt dating burnout too? What’s one boundary you’ve set that changed the way you date? Or - what’s one thing you wish people understood about love in 2025?