Confessions of a Former Alcoholic Part 17

I haven't had any alcohol in about eight days, but I have begun smoking two packs of cigarettes. By early September, I want to be smoke-free. I prepare everything myself.

I'm new to sobriety, but if my subconscious thoughts come to mind even when I'm sober while I'm drunk, it seems like these thoughts are firmly ingrained in my subconscious.

I still go to bars, but I only drink coffee and do not engage in any other activities; instead, I observe the alcoholics around me.

Although I am unaware of current public opinions regarding alcohol consumption, I do know that when a man sits with a woman, he often drinks excessively to impress her and subsequently passes out at the bar.

Men do behave stupidly because they are influenced by their hormones. Alcohol has now repulsed me. If you ask me why, I don't think alcohol goods are necessary. Even if I used to drink like a Viking, I no longer desire to.

My father's side of the family has a history of alcoholism, and all I know is that drinking caused me to lose the lady I was planning to marry. Even if I may have covered it in earlier parts, it's important to keep in mind.

I'm now reading the Bible and getting by on coffee and smokes. I can honestly claim that it's among the most profound books I've ever read.

It has so many excellent metaphorical interpretations that it practically brims with information that clarifies the scientific community. Currently, I am conducting research on alcoholics, focusing on methods to help them achieve sobriety.

To assist alcoholics in quitting, I pay special attention to the feeling of dread. Hopelessness and fear can prompt individuals to behave in diverse ways.

To the best of my knowledge, alcohol use and addiction are exclusively brought on by trauma. Quitting smoking takes almost as much effort as quitting drinking.

I've survived near death since I was a little child, but now I merely exercise caution. I've improved my ability to foresee human behavior. Everyone has modest aspirations. Those pursuing lofty goals are already making many sacrifices. Even as a child, I recall him pointing a gun at my head. I no longer want these things.

I don't know if my traumas and memories have made me stronger, but I pray to God every day in my bed at night.My spirit finds serenity even if I'm not sure whether God exists or not.

My mind appears to store the projects I worked on while intoxicated. I still remember things from when I first began interacting with people. I recall that a close friend of mine betrayed me. Perhaps a lesson has to be learned. Individuals may be trying to make money by exploiting others, or perhaps the legal system operates in a similar manner.

What I can say is that at this young age I grew older and started to hate the nightlife, bars and clubs.I remember my university days, the times when I only spent time in bookstores. I feel like I've become a bookworm again, missing the smell of books.

I can say that books at least keep me alive. Especially books on history that involve research.Many of the people I gave books as gifts turned out to be self-centered. Because of this, I now donate the books I read to used book vendors.

It seems that I will give the library I construct to the government of the nation where I will reside if I am unable to have the family of my dreams in the future. I'm rather interested in what life has in store for me.