Breaking The Seal

I’m almost positive that we have all experienced some embarrassing moments in our lives. Those instances that make us cringe so we deliberately filed them away into a mental cabinet which we have purposefully kept under lock and key. The hope is that with time, we may be able to reopen some files and laugh at some of these circumstances or we can just keep them locked up and never think about them again.

I’ve had a few of those embarrassing moments and for the most part I intend to keep them not only hidden but also forgotten. However, let's take a journey and explore some of those drawers in my cabinet containing some of my embarrassing moments in time. Let’s see what’s in drawer number one.

It was a very sunny day and the weather was perfect. It wasn’t humid although the sun was out in full effect. Everyone could feel the gentle but steady breeze as it surrounded our home. It seemed to hug every object including all the trees giving the illusion that we were almost one with nature. If there was ever a perfect reason to enjoy the outdoors, this was it. I was maybe seven years old at the time. My parents were entertaining guests outside. I was all dolled up by mom in a cute flowery summer dress. There was a particular tree that caterpillars were attracted to. During a certain time of the year, the number of caterpillars would increase. Then over the next few weeks there would be an increase in the number of butterflies around our home. I, for one, was not afraid of butterflies but I was definitely afraid of caterpillars. I was outside with a one of my cousins running around trying to catch butterflies. Let’s call this cousin Billy. Billy was extremely mischievous. My mom called us over so we could have something to eat. While walking towards the house, I felt something crawling on my back. I reached around and felt a caterpillar. Billy thought it was a good idea to place a couple caterpillars there. I remember seeing the smirk on his face as if he was very proud of what he did. I was standing outside in close proximity to all our guests. I did not even think about my actions. I was only reacting to what was happening. Without hesitation, I screamed and undressed myself completely. After that I ran into the house. I could hear Billy laughing away. His laughter was loud and juvenile with a bit of heartlessness. I do recall seeing some of the guests looking surprised. A few of them sat there with their jaws wide open. Let’s say that I remained indoors for the rest of the day. I couldn’t bare to face anyone again after what happened. I tried to convince myself at a later point in my life that I was seven and that maybe no one remembers. However, just opening this drawer brought flashbacks. I can see everything happening in slow motion. It wasn't a good experience.

Right next to this file is another which is similar. My parents always encouraged us to spend time outdoors. They wanted us to enjoy being children and motivated us to use our imagination most of the time. They were not fond of television so we spent very little time watching it. As kids we used palm trees to build homes for ourselves and spent much of our time playing catch or detective. There were even times when we pretended to cultivate the land. We lived on a farm so it was our way of mirroring our parents or other members of the family. On yet another beautiful day, my nine year old self along with many of my cousins were playing catch. Our house was built on a hill and the drive way to the house was very steep. We were always encouraged to be careful when running to avoid any injuries. As kids we really didn’t think about danger or the consequences of our actions. We were care free and willing to take risks. In hindsight, we were living in the moment. One of my older cousins was in his twenties at the time. He was entertaining a few of his male friends while the rest of us ran around being kids. Halfway down the hill were bamboo plants and a huge fruit tree. The bamboo plants and tree shaded the area almost secluding it from the rest of the hill. A bench was built in the shade so anyone could enjoy the cool breeze while they spent some time outside. I was having a great time playing catch. During one of our runs, I was being chased down the hill. At one point during my descent, my slipper got caught between a rock and a shrub. I lunged forward and my skirt blew up into the air. Guess what happened? I flashed my cousin and his male friends. I guess I should be thankful I was wearing clean underwear. There was no turning back from this one. I didn’t even have a quick get away. Thankfully I didn’t fall or hurt myself but my attempt at lunging as a preventative mechanism against a potential fall embarrassed me. I wished there was a room that I could run into or a towel in which I could bury my face. They all just sat there and stared. I turned around and ran up that hill as quickly as I could. I spent weeks avoiding my cousin and his friends. It took me a while to get over it. I was a bit traumatized.

Those moments seemed like they happened just yesterday due to the fact that I remembered them so vividly. Let’s pick another random drawer and see what else is in there. I almost forgot about this one. Most would describe me as being quiet and very much an introvert. I was never one to be disrespectful or interrupt a teacher during class. There was a new student added to our classroom who we will call Sheila. I was in the seventh grade at that time. During one of our classes, Sheila stood up to answer a question. When she stood up, she had a huge wedgie; one of the biggest wedgies I had ever seen. For some reason that was all I focused on. I couldn’t understand why she didn’t try to fix it as it looked uncomfortable to me. I was no longer an attentive student. My focus had changed. Once she sat down without readjusting her clothing I couldn’t help myself and burst out into laughter. Other students laughed too but I continued to laugh even when the teacher asked that I stop laughing. The laughter was uncontrollable. For being a quiet and respectful student, this was the first time that I had acted out in class. My teacher asked me to stop because I was being disruptive and disturbing my classmates. I was asked to exit the class and to sit outside on a bench. My teacher did come to me a few minutes later to ask why I was laughing but I couldn’t tell her. Instead, I laughed some more. I was never able to get the words out of my mouth. As punishment, I remained outside the classroom because I couldn’t contain myself. This was my first time being kicked out of class and it was embarrassing. I was almost the ideal student who never got into trouble and at times was labelled the teacher’s pet. What made it even more embarrassing was me realizing while I sat outside, that I did not only embarrass myself but also my parents. I wasn’t a bully but at that point it seemed like I was. I portrayed myself to be something I was not and I knew my parents would be disappointed. They definitely were when they found out. I did apologize to Sheila because I knew that my actions hurt her too. My classmates on the other hand made it their duty to remind me of my brief moment when I wasn’t the oh so perfect student. I am really not proud of what transpired during school that day. I deserved every bit of that punishmentI received.

I feel like I should just close up the cabinet and lock it all up again but my curiosity wants to search through one more drawer. How about that time my family and I were going on a family vacation during my early teenage years. We got off of our first flight and we had an hour or so before our connecting flight departed. I really needed to use the bathroom. I walked in and thought that things looked different. I didn’t remember seeing potties which is what I called them in the girls bathroom before. I was intrigued and wanted to know more about them. I began to examine them closely. I also realized that there were only two stalls which were both occupied. Having only two bathroom stalls seemed odd but I attributed the differences to us being at a new airport. One of the doors to the bathroom stall flew open and a guy walked out. He had a strange look on his face. I was surprised to see him too. Then a few seconds later another guy came in looking at me very weird. It was only then that I realized that I was in the men’s bathroom. My reaction was similar to that of the emoji with the hands to the face. I then stood there frozen for a few seconds but as soon as I could feel my limbs I ran out of there. I couldn’t believe it. I also blame my naivety for not knowing immediately that I had entered the wrong bathroom. I had never been in the boy’s bathroom at school and I had no idea what a urinal was. Looking back on this incident things could have ended up badly for me. I was happy that I didn’t see much because I would have probably had PTSD from it. I learned a valuable lesson that day. I now not only double but I also triple check the signs before entering any bathroom.

We have all experienced embarrassing moments. For some of them when re-evaluated at a later stage in life the feeling of embarrassment fades. However, during that moment when you’re actually going through the experience, no one can tell you otherwise. Thank goodness for growth and wisdom. Let's hope for a life ahead filled with many lessons that are not disconcerting but maybe a little more fun. We definitely need to take the opportunity to laugh at ourselves too. We only live once.