Behind Smiles

Behind Smiles

You see her every day. She's the kind of person who makes others feel lighter just by entering the room. Her smile is radiant, her laugh contagious. She remembers birthdays, sends late-night encouragement messages to friends, and cracks jokes even during tense meetings. Everyone calls her "sunshine." She's the one people lean on when things go wrong.

Her name is Ayesha.

She's twenty-six, working at a fast-paced digital agency, always dressed in vibrant colors, always humming some old Bollywood tune. If you didn’t know better, you’d say she’s the happiest person alive.

But no one sees her after the lights go out.

No one sees her come home to an empty apartment, place her phone face-down, and curl up on the corner of her bed, hugging a pillow that smells like memories.
No one sees the moments where she stares blankly at the ceiling, eyes open, heart heavy, wondering what it’s like to live without pretending.
No one hears the silence she drowns in every night — the silence she tries to fill with noise all day long.

Ayesha wasn’t always this way.

There was a time she dreamed freely — of writing books, traveling solo, laughing with her mother over tea on rainy evenings.
But life had other plans.

Her mother passed away suddenly when Ayesha was nineteen.
A year later, her elder brother moved abroad, never to return.
Her father stopped speaking to her after she refused an arranged marriage, saying she had "shamed" the family.

So, Ayesha became her own home. Her own family. Her own comfort.

She wore her smile like armor.

She began journaling daily.
Page after page of affirmations, goals, gratitude — but also pain. The kind of pain too raw to share.
One page read:

> “Everyone thinks I’m healing. But sometimes, I think I’ve just gotten better at hiding.”



Work became her escape.
So did social media. Her Instagram bloomed with golden hour shots, captions about self-love, coffee aesthetics, and book recommendations.

People followed her for “positivity.”

They never saw the drafts folder full of unsent goodbyes.

Until one Thursday, everything collapsed.

Ayesha didn’t get out of bed. Her limbs wouldn’t move. Her chest felt like it had caved in. Her mind — numb. Her phone kept buzzing: meetings, reminders, voice notes. She ignored them all.

By evening, a close colleague who lived nearby grew concerned and came over. When she didn’t respond, he got the landlord to unlock the door.

There she was.
Not hurt. Not unconscious.
Just sitting by the window, her face pale, her eyes swollen from crying.
On the mirror in her bedroom, written in lipstick, were the words:

“I’m tired of pretending.”

She was taken to the hospital. Diagnosed with severe emotional exhaustion and clinical depression. The doctor called it an “internal breakdown” — the kind no one sees until it’s too late.

And the people around her?

Shocked.

“I never knew…”
“She was always so happy…”
“She checked on me last week!”

That’s the thing about people like Ayesha.

They give so much light, hoping others don’t see their darkness.

Weeks passed. Slowly, she began to speak. In therapy, at first. Then to herself in the mirror. Then finally, to the world.

She posted on Instagram — no filter, no caption aesthetics:

> “To those who think smiles mean strength: they don’t.
I smiled to survive. I smiled to distract. I smiled so no one would ask if I was okay.
But I wasn’t.
And if you're reading this, and you’re tired too — please, speak up. Pretending will kill you in silence.”

The post went viral.

Messages poured in. Not of pity — but resonance.

“I feel seen.”
“This is my story too.”
“You just saved me.”

Ayesha changed that day.

She didn’t become weak.
She became real.

Now, she laughs — but not to hide.
She cries — without shame.
And when someone says, “You seem so positive,” she smiles softly and says, “Sometimes. But not always. And that’s okay.”

She leads mental health workshops at work now. She talks about the importance of checking in on “the strong ones.” She listens more. Speaks slower. Pauses often.

And sometimes, when she looks at the mirror, she still sees that old version of herself — the girl who smiled to survive.

But now, she reaches out — and comforts her.

Because behind the brightest smiles are often the quietest screams.

And Ayesha?
She’s done hiding.