#2

The title is code.

I love Manhattan.

Nobody Smiles Anyomore.

Fake Fiance wanted to smash lastnite, I rejected her.

Today was my first day walking the streets of soho since I was 20. I fell back in love with the mass stimulation of the simulation. People like ants, going about their days using common paths, doing general common tasks. Some dressed like icons. Icons dressed as if working for minimum wage. I was meant to start a courrier job today, but I took the wrong train, twice. I didn't check the letter of the train when it arrived. It was meant to be. Sunshine (my chinese friend) couldn't meet for smoothies. She's someone i've never been close to but find her style incredibly attractive. I had a beautiful afternoon, walking around, consumed by classic architecture, wall tags, graffiti, and temporary advertisments, people yelling "i got shot each time" into their airpods. So many colors. So many sounds. The unique unworldly smells of the metro that make you think covid actually grew from the depths of those tunnels.

I have $193 in my one and only bank account. The last of my trading withdrawls came thru. After the $50 withdrawl of my ShibuInu coin comes in, I'll be completely tapped. F*ck ya.

I thought about going into a few SOHO shops to ask if they were hiring. My lack of confidence wouldn't allow me to actually attempt to find a job. I know I meant to follow my gut and go in whatever direction the vibes pull me , but being broke and unsure in this city is absolutely terrifying. It's my biggest stress when i'm at home. It's my biggest challenge. But as soon as I get out and walking around the village I feel comfortable. I know i'm supposed to BE here, i'm just unsure of what it is I can really DO here.

I like writing this out.

My fake fiance is on the couch next to me, bicepboi is smoking a stoge by the kitchen window. Fake finace made dinner, I'm to stoned to eat, but now it sounds good. She wanted to hookup lastnight. I shut her down. I've realized that although she's hot physically, her mental space is not one that I want to hang out in. I figure, if I keep things professional, we may be able to pull this off. If we started to hook up im sure I would loose all attraction and she would end up being annoying to continue the plan of getting her a green card. What do I get out of it? The feeling of being a good friend and a boost to my credit score... But is it worth it

I dont know why people don't smile here, or even seem comfortable with eye contact. I was told once that it would be too exhausting to acknowledge every person that you pass and that Ny people only smile at those they know or are attacted to. I got one wordless smile today, she was cute 50 yards away, I saw her, she saw me, she looked away, she looked back up at me and half smiled, and looked away, I smiled at her 10 yards, she looked up, we passed eachother while smiling, magic. Something so fake & casual on the west coast is a real sign of attraction or kindness out here. Damn Bruh. I like this.

So much color. So many sounds. Life is good. I love it here. I am terrified or excited, I can't decide.

My grammer sucks, I don't understand why people allowed me to educate their children. i'm 26.

Kaya is going with Cris to try to get my snowboarding gear back. They're in Vail, Co ( where I was previous to being in Brooklyn) . She was trying to be helpful and sold $1500 worth of gear, unfortunately she sold it to some convincing conman as*holes at Transitions Sports Avon , CO for $150. F*cking as*holes, man. Who takes advantage of an obviously clueless and defenseless girl like that? I called the shop from NY to rip them a new one. Kaya is going with Cris to f*ck them up.