Getting Stoned in Grimsby

If you wanted an ideal setting for an old-fashioned cup upset, Blundell Park would always be a good choice. This is a traditional football ground. Surrounded by residential Cleethorpes streets, with four floodlight pylons serving as signposts for visiting fans, it has the kind of setting all too often abandoned for out-of-town convenience. It’s been home to Grimsby Town since 1899 – the irony, of course, is that it was built for out-of-town convenience in the seaside resort that sprang up downriver from Grimsby docks – and the main stand dates from 1901. That makes it the oldest in the Football League.

Yes, it shows its age. Inconvenient pillars slightly obscure view from almost every seat. The wooden cladding seen from outside is surely unique at this level. Facilities are homely rather than high-tech, but for Grimsby regulars, this is the site of the regular ritual.

Opposite, the former Findus Stand (now renamed for a different sponsor, Young’s Seafood) is an impressive two-tier affair from the 1980s. Once, it would have been state of the art, now it looks like a heritage piece. The upper tier has fine views across the Humber estuary (and, tides permitting, the fishing fleet that serves the sponsors); the VIP suites nestle behind glass above a few rows of lower-tier seating exposed to the often-brutal east coast elements. In my college days, a survey of matchday temperatures at English League grounds placed Grimsby among the coldest in the league, behind North Sea neighbours Hartlepool and Sunderland.

A season ticket holder was quick to talk up the charms of his spiritual home before the game: Mariners’ fans never want to leave, even if Blundell Park’s low capacity and limited scope for growth mean it’s unlikely that the club will return to the pre-war glory days of top-flight football and FA Cup semi-finals.

Today’s action was an FA Cup first-round tie. At a time when complaints about the devaluation of the cup make more noise than the tournament itself, Grimsby takes this seriously. So do I: my season began with preliminary round games at Heaton Stannington and Newcastle Blue Star. Two seasons ago the Mariners made history: five wins against teams from higher leagues, including a memorable win at Premier League Southampton, took the team to the quarter-finals.

This time, though, Grimsby is Goliath rather than David. The opposition, Wealdstone, are struggling in the National League. On paper, it looked like a routine home win, but cliché lovers can prepare for another dose of that good old FA Cup magic.

Really, this should never have been a cup upset. In the first 20 minutes, Grimsby dominated proceedings against its non-league visitor. An early effort was hacked off the Stones’ goal-line, then Justin Obikwu fired a penalty against the post (the less said about the attempted shot from the rebound, the better). Wealdstone continued to ride its luck: another chance scrambled away when it seemed easier to score, and a Rose shot turned onto the bar by Sam Howes. It might have been 4-0 in the first half, and the Mariners set fair for the second round.

Instead, total dominance brought no tangible reward. What better set-up for a smash-and-grab? Even by the end of the first half, there was noticeable frustration among the home faithful. True, much of the clientele in the main stand seems to be old enough to remember when it was built, but the level of grumbling grew in intensity with each broken-down attack. All too often, promising positions petered out due to a lack of width in the home attack. When the ball did go wide, instead of driving forward and looking for a dangerous cross into the box, play reversed into a less threatening central position as the Wealdstone defence regrouped and pushed the danger away. A mention here for captain Adrian Mariappa, one of that select band of footballers whose name leapt off the team-sheet for me due to his valued role in a Premier League-winning Championship Manager team in the past. Now 38 and a veteran of more than 150 real-life Premier League appearance, he marshalled the Stones’ rearguard well here.

As the game wore on, it felt like Grimsby were running out of ideas. The crowd, meanwhile, was running out of patience. Calls to shoot were increasingly desperate and nerves on the terraces translated onto the pitch. Emboldened, Wealdstone began to attack more and, in the 90th minute, Alex Reid forced home a scrappy goal to send the National League team into the next round. Delirium among the 168 traveling fans; boos and shouts of “embarrassing” from the disgruntled home faithful. It wasn’t a classic game of football, but it was a classic cup tie.

Nov. 2, 2024. FA Cup First Round

Blundell Park, Cleethorpes

Grimsby Town 0 Wealdstone 1 (Reid)

Att: 3,174